The homeless man

    A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a
    particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a
    couple of dollars for dinner.

    The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I
    give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

    "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

    "Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.

    "No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to
    spend all my time trying to stay alive."

    "Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?"
    the man asked.

    "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20

    "Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead
    of food?" the man asked.

    "What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless

    "Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead,
    I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

    The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you
    for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty

    The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man
    looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."


    Nice bit of humour :thumbsup:


    One of my favourites is about a rich man and a poor man who meet at a bar. It turns out both men have been buying there wives birthday presents and they compare notes.

    The rich man says he has bought his wife both a Porsche and a Mercedes, as he wasn’t sure which she would prefer, and this way if she doesn’t like one she can drive the other.

    The poor man says he has done similar. He explains he has bought his wife both a pair of slippers and a vibrator, and that if she does not like the slippers she can *BLEEP* herself!
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