The priest & the sinner ...............

The priest tells the sinner, You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's

Soon, another man enters the confessional. Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months.

This time the priest asks, Who is this Fannie Green?

A new woman in the neighbourhood, the sinner replies.

Very well, says the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary's.

The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when a gorgeous, slim ,redheaded woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the Altar.
Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes. The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs slightly apart, Sharon Stone-style..

The priest turns to the altar boy and whisperingly asks, Is that Fannie Green?
The altar boy replies, ...

No Father, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes.


Original Poster


Original Poster

A Jewish father was troubled by the way his son turned out, and went to see his Rabbi about it. "I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive barmitzvah, cost me a fortune to educate him. Then he tells me last week he has decided to be a Christian! Rabbi, where did I go wrong?"

"Funny you should come to me," said the Rabbi. "Like you I, too, brought my boy up in the faith, put him through University, cost me a fortune, then one day he, too, tells me he has decided to become a Christian."

"What did you do?" asked the father.

"I turned to God for the answer" replied the Rabbi.

"And what did he say?" pressed the father.

"God said, 'Funny you should come to me...' "

Original Poster

A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near-death experience. During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live.

Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, and a tummy tuck. She even has someone come in and change her hair colour. She figures that since she's got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it.

She walks out the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.

She arrives in front of God again and asks, "I thought you said I had another 30-40 years?"

God replies, "Sorry, I didn't recognize you."

Original Poster

A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confession box and says nothing. The bewildered priest cough to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing.

The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.

Finally, the drunk replies, "No use knocking, there's no paper in this one either."

Original Poster


wow you can use Google ! :roll: well done
( do you ever do anything other than crit' other peeps ? ) lmao

Made me laugh

God replies, "Sorry, I didn't recognize you."


Original Poster


Made me laugh:thumbsup:

Hi Chesso ... I keep missing you !


wow you can use Google ! :roll: well done( do you ever do anything other … wow you can use Google ! :roll: well done( do you ever do anything other than crit' other peeps ? ) lmao

ye, ive got a diploma in using google :lol:

Love the jokes :giggle::giggle:
Post a comment
    Top Discussions
    1. Cheapo tips for around the home. Aka "life hacks"2034
    2. Just heard this...2 ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ congrats to all on 392k ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★7763944
    3. ❅☁☁❅ I want☼to talk☼about the☔WEATHER☔no politics☃no religion❅☁☁❅18846082
    4. Xbox One X pre order £449.99 @ Game (out 9th Nov)2450

    See more discussions