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    THE TURKEY AND THE BULL

    A turkey is chatting with a bull.
    "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighs the turkey, "but I just haven't got the energy."
    "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replies the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
    The turkey pecks at a lump of dung and finds that it actually gives him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
    The next day, after eating some more dung, he reaches the second branch.
    Finally after a week, there he is proudly perched at the top of the tree.
    Unfortunately he is spotted by a farmer, who shoots him out of the tree.
    Moral of the story: Bullsh** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

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    Original Poster

    AN ICE CREAM MURDER


    Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands.
    Police say that he topped himself.

    ---------------

    OF HUMAN BONDAGE


    A mother cleaning her son's room finds an S&M magazine under the bed.
    Upset, she immediately shows the magazine to her husband.
    "Well?" his wife asks. "What do you think we should do?"
    "I'm not sure," the father replies. "But we certainly shouldn't spank him."


    -------------


    THE CHICKEN AND THE HORSE


    A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. Suddenly the horse falls into a mud hole and starts sinking. He tells the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farmer, but the farmer can't be found.
    So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend and drives forward saving the horse from sinking.
    A few days later, the chicken and horse are playing in the meadow again, and the chicken falls into a mud hole. The chicken tells the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.
    The horse says: "I think I can get you out."
    So he stretches over the width of the hole and says: "Grab hold of my 'thing' and pull yourself up."
    The chicken does this and is pulled to safety. Moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks

    snowtiger;2022776

    AN ICE CREAM MURDEROur ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his … AN ICE CREAM MURDEROur ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.



    :):):oops:

    Original Poster

    Hiya JUICY

    haha
    i LOL'd at all of them
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