The worst thing that you've touched with your bare hands

58 replies
Found 22nd Oct 2016
because gloves are for wimps :-)

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toilet u bend

My own colon (kidding but made me laugh)

A dead mouse that had been through the washing machine at a relatives house, i was trying to be helpful and hang out the washing and didn't realise what it was. A massive screaming fit ensued when i realised it was a dead mouse

Graham1979

My own colon (kidding but made me laugh)


a tv license

Doggie poop!
Ewwwwww!!!! Slimey and wet!!!! Nooooooo!!!!!:(

Numerous dead people

very embarrassed to say this but here goes. Still having nightmares.

About 5 years ago, went to for a job interview. Met the interviewer and shook his hand.
I got the job. . Only when I started working there, few weeks later, I discovered
he was a Manchester United fan. oO

https://media.giphy.com/media/V3GIbLKQ37Nbq/giphy.gif

Banned

Picked up the hat of an old man who looked like was sleeping while standing and drooling, then afterwards, when I gave him the hat he started mumbling. Even when you're trying to do good people will still find a way to ruin that.

scrumpypaul

Numerous dead people


Morgue?

Spasho

Picked up the hat of an old man who looked like was sleeping while … Picked up the hat of an old man who looked like was sleeping while standing and drooling, then afterwards, when I gave him the hat he started mumbling. Even when you're trying to do good people will still find a way to ruin that.Morgue?




Nah - cop.

Girlfriends man united shirt.
Edited by: "Snakeyes646" 22nd Oct 2016

My ex

Raw chicken.

A lost kid at a supermarket; taking him to the front desk whilst he was crying waaahhhh waaahhhh type. His snot was hanging loose and lo and behold as I walked him with my hand around his little shoulder- the 'motion' of walking got his hanging snot to swing back and forth and one end attached itself to my hand (the hand which I comforted him with by placing on his shoulder) the liberty.

I bawked the rest of the way to the help desk.

White dog poo when I was a kid - thought it was chalk

At a customers house, had to move the bed out of the way and there was a vibrator, it was smelly too

Banned

airfix

At a customers house, had to move the bed out of the way and there was a … At a customers house, had to move the bed out of the way and there was a vibrator, it was smelly too



Obviously been up the brown.

MrScotchBonnet

Obviously been up the brown.


http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/2012/10/double-take.gif

airfix

At a customers house, had to move the bed out of the way and there was a … At a customers house, had to move the bed out of the way and there was a vibrator, it was smelly too



​but you didn't have to touch it, that was your choice. mmmm

shadey12

​but you didn't have to touch it, that was your choice. mmmm



Had to smell it though (_;)

Delusions ex.

Was in the park having a lovely day with the dog and thought I'd chuck a stick I saw laying on the ground! It wasn't a stick!!!

airfix

At a customers house, had to move the bed out of the way and there was a … At a customers house, had to move the bed out of the way and there was a vibrator, it was smelly too



​could you not just kick out of the way....or at least at arms length so u didn't have to smell it

Grumpy_womble

Was in the park having a lovely day with the dog and thought I'd chuck a … Was in the park having a lovely day with the dog and thought I'd chuck a stick I saw laying on the ground! It wasn't a stick!!!



A peperami?

theshepherd83

​could you not just kick out of the way....or at least at arms length so u … ​could you not just kick out of the way....or at least at arms length so u didn't have to smell it



It was quite dark and it was a black one, just doing my usual speedy work and picked it up to clear the area, then realized what it was.

airfix

It was quite dark and it was a black one, just doing my usual speedy work … It was quite dark and it was a black one, just doing my usual speedy work and picked it up to clear the area, then realized what it was.



​and that's the case for the defence your honour.

my grandads eye lids after he'd passed away ... no one else dared to touch him

Original Poster

do you get some job satisfaction from being a dirty dildo picker-upper-er

airfix

It was quite dark and it was a black one, just doing my usual speedy work … It was quite dark and it was a black one, just doing my usual speedy work and picked it up to clear the area, then realized what it was.


airfix

It was quite dark and it was a black one, just doing my usual speedy work … It was quite dark and it was a black one, just doing my usual speedy work and picked it up to clear the area, then realized what it was.



This story smells a bit fishy to me

moved lots of nasty things out of the way as an NTL engineer (once upon a time)

once asking for a hoover to clean up some brick dust.. i picked it up and the cleanest part of the carpet was the 8" square under where the hoover had been placed.. nasty horrid filthy house got paid double for that job!

arcangel111

my grandads eye lids after he'd passed away ... no one else dared to … my grandads eye lids after he'd passed away ... no one else dared to touch him


DarkEnergy2012

do you get some job satisfaction from being a dirty dildo picker-upper-er … do you get some job satisfaction from being a dirty dildo picker-upper-er


Lol, my mate wasn't too pleased when I pushed it under his nose, I think it touched his lips.

This was years ago, I've since grown up.

airfix

Lol, my mate wasn't too pleased when I pushed it under his nose, I think … Lol, my mate wasn't too pleased when I pushed it under his nose, I think it touched his lips. :|This was years ago, I've since grown up.




X) liar

One of the first android tablets (resistive screen).

shabbird

very embarrassed to say this but here goes. Still having nightmares. … very embarrassed to say this but here goes. Still having nightmares. About 5 years ago, went to for a job interview. Met the interviewer and shook his hand.I got the job. . Only when I started working there, few weeks later, I discoveredhe was a Manchester United fan. oO



shoudl of took him for a haircut mate


airfix

It was quite dark and it was a black one, just doing my usual speedy work … It was quite dark and it was a black one, just doing my usual speedy work and picked it up to clear the area, then realized what it was.


that what you told them at the hospital?
"yeah i was doing some work and it was dark, i tripped and fell on it"
Edited by: "brilly" 22nd Oct 2016

arcangel111

moved lots of nasty things out of the way as an NTL engineer (once upon a … moved lots of nasty things out of the way as an NTL engineer (once upon a time)once asking for a hoover to clean up some brick dust.. i picked it up and the cleanest part of the carpet was the 8" square under where the hoover had been placed.. nasty horrid filthy house got paid double for that job!



​the state of some people's houses should have its own thread, the times I put plastic boot covers on to protect my footwear from their floor.

Grumpy_womble

Was in the park having a lovely day with the dog and thought I'd chuck a … Was in the park having a lovely day with the dog and thought I'd chuck a stick I saw laying on the ground! It wasn't a stick!!!


An easy mistake to make if it was brown and sticky.

brilly

that what you told them at the hospital?"yeah i was doing some work and … that what you told them at the hospital?"yeah i was doing some work and it was dark, i tripped and fell on it"



Are you having those fantasies about me again billy?

airfix

Are you having those fantasies about me again billy?


nah, thought i read about you in 'the metro' just

brilly

nah, thought i read about you in 'the metro' just


lol, did you laminate it so the pages didn't stick together?
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