Thoughts for Friday afternoon ..............

THOUGHTS FOR FRIDAY

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

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Gardening Rule:

When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.
If it comes out of the ground easily, it was a valuable plant.

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The easiest way to find something lost around the
house is to buy a replacement.

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Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

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There are two kinds of pedestrians--the quick and the dead.

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Life is sexually transmitted.

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An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

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If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool. who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"

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Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which
one can die.

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The only difference between a rut and a grave
is the depth.

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Always get the last word in: Apologize.

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Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day;
teach that person to use the Internet and they won't
bother you for weeks.

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Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

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Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

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Have you noticed since everyone has a Camcorder these
days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

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Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

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All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.

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Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred
quid and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty pence?

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In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make
it normal.

~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest
profession. I have come to realize that it bears
a very close resemblance to the first

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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire,
but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

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5 Comments

"The easiest way to find something lost around the
house is to buy a replacement. "
:lol: i do this all the time & as soon as i've started usin the replacement the original item turns up :giggle:

Original Poster

hehe this one is so true ....
Have you noticed since everyone has a Camcorder these
days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Original Poster

[FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]a duck walks into a bar and says "got any duck food"
the bartender says "no, go away we don't serve ducks here"
the next day the same duck walks into the bar and says "got any duck food"
the bartender says "no, i told you yesterday, now p off"
the next day the same duck walks into the bar and says "got any duck food"
the bartender is now really angry and shouts "no, now f off and if you come back again i'll nail your feet to the floor"
the next day the same duck walks into the bar again says "got any nails"
The bartender says "no"
the duck then says "got any duck food"[/SIZE][/FONT]

Original Poster

The couple were lying in bed, her head resting on his chest, both spent but in post climactic delight.
"What are you thinking, honey?" he says.
"I was just admiring your ****" she replies.
"Really?" says he with a proud smile quickly spreading across his face.
"Yeah, I still miss mine".
:w00t: :w00t: :w00t:

Original Poster

jellybaby22;2207909

love that one !!!!!:w00t::p this is my favourite Im going to write it on … love that one !!!!!:w00t::p this is my favourite Im going to write it on my car when i do my driving lessons !!!!!:w00t:


How about ? http://www.crazyauntpurl.com/images/blog/bumper-sticker-bug.jpg:w00t:
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