Thrown out of B&Q

I've just been banned from every B&Q in the country.

I went in my local store and some kid in an orange apron came up and asked me if I wanted decking?

I wasn't going to take any chances so I hit him first!

40 Comments

Banned

congrats on being the 100th member to post this this week - ll

seems to be country-wide!!

sassie;1961656

congrats on being the 100th member to post this this week - ll



:whistling::thumbsup:

old but oh it makes me laugh ever so much!!!!!!!!!

Banned

i thought maybe it was mystinys hubby trying it on for a few more vouchers - lol

Is this Ground Hog Day ?

sassie;1961674

i thought maybe it was mystinys hubby trying it on for a few more … i thought maybe it was mystinys hubby trying it on for a few more vouchers - lol



:lol:

sassie;1961674

i thought maybe it was mystinys hubby trying it on for a few more … i thought maybe it was mystinys hubby trying it on for a few more vouchers - lol


Looooooooooooooooooooool!!!!

Banned

I thought you were telling the trith at first! :oops:

I'm going to post this again tomorrow so i become the 101st person to post it.

This should be a sticky

Very ground hog day, it has felt that way for pretty much ten years now ...
[COLOR="Red"][SIZE="3"][CENTER][FONT="Courier New"][FONT="Fixedsys"][SIZE="4"]Hey ... I got banned from b and q the other day cos some spanner asked me if I wanted decking and i said no I'd like a spanner please..[/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER][/SIZE][/COLOR].

Banned

sassie;1961656

congrats on being the 100th member to post this this week - ll



hahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahah! i love iiiiiitttt!

Banned

stora;1961752

This should be a sticky



hahahhaha!

Banned

lol never hear that before lol

zezlez;1961739

I'm going to post this again tomorrow so i become the 101st person to … I'm going to post this again tomorrow so i become the 101st person to post it.



By then you'll be the 508th.

Banned

Shengis;1961774

By then you'll be the 508th.



lmfao

I went into B&Q and this bloke dressed in orange and black just inside the the door said 'Good afternoon sir', so I hit him.

Well everybody else seems to be doing it so I didn't want to feel left out..... :lol:

[COLOR="Red"]I found a tin of paint in B&Q, it was dented so I went to the helpdesk for discount.
The assistant said " I can take 20% off it for you"
I said "okay, great"
She took the lid off the paint, threw it in the bin and then charged me full price...
[/COLOR]
....Geddit? I am so proud it's the firstest ever brilliant and funny joke i have evr made up on here....
I want a congratulations post for this!!!

awwww sheriff well done you. that is fab wonderful congrats, rep left.













did i get it right . your owe me big time for kissing ass

i went into B&Q the other day..
and i hit myself

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa:w00t:

jennie-jack;1961957

awwww sheriff well done you. that is fab wonderful congrats, rep … awwww sheriff well done you. that is fab wonderful congrats, rep left.[COLOR="Red"]Thank you for being the 6th person on this here forum to congratulate me, your kindness will not be forgotten....:-D[/COLOR]did i get it right . your owe me big time for kissing ass

I went in to B&Q all I got was a long weight!

next time ask for a skirting board ladder or a left handed screwdriver:thumbsup:

Tarby25;1962037

next time ask for a skirting board ladder or a left handed … next time ask for a skirting board ladder or a left handed screwdriver:thumbsup:



Or tartan paint :-D

or vanilla glue...

I went into B&Q the other day and asked this guy in orange for a long stand, he said 'no problem sir, wait there and I'll get you it'......half an hour later he came back and asked....'is that long enough?'

i went into b&q the other day as i wanted to become a orange and black worker
next day on my job i asked a group of rugby type guys if they wanting decking
lets just say i beat the sh-it outta all of them and got fired

I went into B&Q the other day and asked for a Jigsaw, he came back with a 1,000 piece puzzle. I said no thats not what I want, what about a wrench...he went away and came back with a scantily clad woman, again I said i think you've missed my point. Have you got a plane then, this time he came back with a model spitfire, ok I said this is your last chance, have you got some plaster then....yes you guess it he came back with his first aid kit......so I punched him anyway and went to homebase instead

:giggle::giggle::giggle:

think there should now be a 'comedy' section added to this forum:idea:

i have not laughed so much in ages. you mad bunch!

Well, don't know where I've been but I've never seen it and I think it's fab Loooooooooooooool :-D

Sheriff Waffles;1962367

:giggle::giggle::giggle:think there should now be a 'comedy' section … :giggle::giggle::giggle:think there should now be a 'comedy' section added to this forum:idea:



Actually thats a good idea, would get my vote :thumbsup:

I went into B&Q the other day and somebody pinched a wheeltrim off the car and it cost me £17 to get a new one.

Not funny.

zezlez;1965096

I went into B&Q the other day and somebody pinched a wheeltrim off the … I went into B&Q the other day and somebody pinched a wheeltrim off the car and it cost me £17 to get a new one.Not funny.


If thats a joke, i don't get it?

Lulu'sMammy;1965111

If thats a joke, i don't get it?



No not a joke wish i had gone to another DIY store and i would have saved £17

Not blonde are you.

Banned

zezlez;1966043

No not a joke wish i had gone to another DIY store and i would have saved … No not a joke wish i had gone to another DIY store and i would have saved £17Not blonde are you.



Did you notice a little while after driving over a roundabout?

Buy some cable ties!

100pk for 1 quid in B&Q.

I don't get it. Why did the store employee want to deck you in the first place? You must have done something wrong...? :?

JDeal;1966085

Did you notice a little while after driving over a roundabout?Buy some … Did you notice a little while after driving over a roundabout?Buy some cable ties!



Thats what i went into B&Q for in the 1st place, cable ties, just in case someone tried to pinch my wheeltrims but thay pinched one whilst i was in there............

Only Joking.

Yeah I got the ties on the wheeltrims now but a bit late dont you think ! ! !
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