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    Top Tips?

    I love a top tip. Take a break style Tips for anything and everything!

    Put shirts and tops on hangers before putting them on the line. Makes it easier to bring them in for ironing (if you're that way inclined) and great for dashing out to collect them in an unexpected downpour!

    Fold down the inner cereal packets and clip with a peg to keep fresh (MIL tip)

    Put any unused fresh lemon in a dish and then at the back of the fridge to keep it smelling nice Just don't leave it in there for months, lol

    Over to you.....

    101 Comments

    don't eat yellow snow. :thumbsup:

    Original Poster

    phatboy123;6728047

    don't eat yellow snow. :thumbsup:



    :giggle:

    Carley;6728056

    Buy a television set exactly like your neighbours. Then annoy them by … Buy a television set exactly like your neighbours. Then annoy them by standing outside their window and changing their channel using your identical remote control.



    lol thas funny!


    Put a small amount of fabric conditioner into your mop bucket and usual detergent and smell lasts ages:thumbsup:

    Original Poster

    bossyboots;6728072

    lol thas funny!Put a small amount of fabric conditioner into your mop … lol thas funny!Put a small amount of fabric conditioner into your mop bucket and usual detergent and smell lasts ages:thumbsup:



    :thumbsup: I like it!

    Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

    Carley;6728063

    Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a … Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.



    :giggle: OMG

    Original Poster

    A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.

    j9mcl;6728089

    Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the … Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.


    :giggle:

    Comedy gold :w00t: :thumbsup:

    When buying oranges, get more for your money by peeling them before taking them to the counter to be weighed.

    The only useful tip I can think of is

    Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your own home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.

    omg they are all sooooooooooooooooo funny esp the one about the binoculars lol

    j9mcl;6728131

    Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your own home by … Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your own home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.



    loooooooooooooooooooooooool

    Bus drivers. Pretend you're an airline pilot by wedging your accelerator pedal down with a heavy book, securing the steering wheel with some old rope, and then strolling back along the bus chatting casually to the passengers.

    Original Poster

    Save pounds every year on household wear and tear by living in a tent in your garden :thumbsup:

    j9mcl;6728131

    Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your own home by … Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your own home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.


    :lol:

    Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

    Avoid cutting yourself while clumsily slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    Original Poster

    Please can we have some serious ones too...I really DO love a top tip, lol!

    I am being serious :?

    Original Poster

    j9mcl;6728158

    I am being serious :?



    :w00t:

    Daffodil;6728153

    Please can we have some serious ones too...I really DO love a top tip, … Please can we have some serious ones too...I really DO love a top tip, lol!



    aawww daffodil, dont let them stop.......................................these are the funniest things av read in ages and cant stop laughing!!!!!!!!

    Don't invite drug addicts round for a meal on boxing day. They may find the offer of cold turkey embarrassing or offensive.

    NO TIME for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

    Avoid any unnecessary scrotal surgery by removing any genital piercings before using the 'Black Hole' water flume at Butlins, Bognor Regis.

    Old telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.

    hunchback;6728175

    Avoid any unnecessary scrotal surgery by removing any genital piercings … Avoid any unnecessary scrotal surgery by removing any genital piercings before using the 'Black Hole' water flume at Butlins, Bognor Regis.



    Excellent tip!!!

    Tanchi;6728177

    OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross … OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.


    :lol:

    Original Poster

    bossyboots;6728163

    aawww daffodil, dont let them … aawww daffodil, dont let them stop.......................................these are the funniest things av read in ages and cant stop laughing!!!!!!!!



    Lol I knew the funny ones would roll in! You're right it IS hilarious LOL! But gimme some real top tips too!

    If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

    Original Poster

    Smell gas? Locate the suspected leak by striking an ordinary match in every room in the house until a loud explosion reveals the source of the escaping gas.

    Dyslexics. Try deliberately spelling words wrongly. This way at least you have a chance of spelling them correctly.

    Daffodil;6728216

    Smell gas? Locate the suspected leak by striking an ordinary match in … Smell gas? Locate the suspected leak by striking an ordinary match in every room in the house until a loud explosion reveals the source of the escaping gas.



    lmao

    Increase the life of your carpets by rolling them up and keeping them in the garage.

    Original Poster

    Stop nosey neighbours from knowing which room you're in by stealthily crawling around the house on all fours. lol

    Top Tip: Drill a one inch diameter hole in your refrigerator door. This will allow you to check that the light goes off when the door is closed.

    Daffodil;6728105

    A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from … A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.



    i love this one

    Daffodil;6728240

    Stop nosey neighbours from knowing which room you're in by stealthily … Stop nosey neighbours from knowing which room you're in by stealthily crawling around the house on all fours. lol



    ROFL :w00t:

    Avoid flu-jab embarassment by not pulling your trousers down whilst the nurse is away getting your jab. It is administered via the arm these days.
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