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    Two men who really understand women...

    Banned
    "Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of ****!" Erik S Gray

    William Golding

    loldamn.com/two…tml

    38 Comments

    Yup :-)

    Original Poster Banned

    You're named after a famous Egyptian Queen right?

    Banned

    Ah, the standard single mum Facebook post full of inspirational quotes and wisdom.

    Doesn't always work:

    I give her my credit card, my bank balance goes smaller
    I give her my car, my fuel decreases

    Original Poster Banned

    LOL

    thisthatandtheother

    Sometimes I need to read things twice as I cannot believe someone would … Sometimes I need to read things twice as I cannot believe someone would write that, I was wrong oO


    Near-unbelievable that someone would choose to repeat it in a response.

    Fixed this.
    Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby.. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. And, if you give her the clap, be ready to receive a ton of **** S.Gray”

    And none of the above applies! X)

    Should be .. If you give her sperm she will spit it out , if you give her a house she will take half in the divorce , if you give her groceries she will say " I ain't your slave cook em yourself ", if you give her a smile she will say " what you been up to ?"

    If you give her sperm, it was without permission, if you give her a house it was provided by the local authority, if you give her groceries she will say "what are these & where is my sausage double egg mcmuffin?", If you give her a smile, youve not known her very long, she multiplies and enlarges full stop.. you dont give her crap its easy to just nod and agree...
    Edited by: "haritori" 19th Jan

    Original Poster Banned

    Trust you Plodging! LOL

    Obviously it's wimps like this who will patronise or acquiesce to anything just o get laid .....and by their glum looks it inevitably backfired?

    Give her an inch she'll take a mile

    jimhuf

    Give her an inch she'll take a mile



    ...But give her eight and you'll make her smile

    You left off the Golding quote.

    “I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been".-William Golding

    Could not agree more with that.

    HotEnglishAndWelshDeals

    You left off the Golding quote.“I think women are foolish to pretend they … You left off the Golding quote.“I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been".-William GoldingCould not agree more with that.



    that quote is a contradiction, implying women are foolish yet superior?

    haritori

    that quote is a contradiction, implying women are foolish yet superior?


    Or men are just even more foolish?

    Its all getting a little...
    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/06_02/manningDM_468x471.jpg

    118luke

    Doesn't always work:I give her my credit card, my bank balance goes … Doesn't always work:I give her my credit card, my bank balance goes smallerI give her my car, my fuel decreases


    I giver her something hard and it ends up soft

    Sorry I'm going from memory

    MrScotchBonnet

    Ah, the standard single mum Facebook post full of inspirational quotes … Ah, the standard single mum Facebook post full of inspirational quotes and wisdom.


    I suddenly feel the need to stop liking these posts on facebook now you've said that oO

    just makes me think 'half'
    as best explained by Eddie Murphy
    Edited by: "shadey12" 19th Jan

    jimhuf

    Give her an inch she'll take a mile



    Give her an inch and she'll give you a disappointed face.

    Original Poster Banned

    Give her a Spurs shirt on Match day and COYS!!

    moneysavingkitten

    Give her an inch and she'll give you a disappointed face.


    My wife's been telling me for the past 15 years that size doesn't matter, It's like shes constantly trying to reassure me.

    Original Poster Banned

    shauneco

    My wife's been telling me for the past 15 years that size doesn't matter, … My wife's been telling me for the past 15 years that size doesn't matter, It's like shes constantly trying to reassure me.



    "One size fits all"...that's what it says on my T shirt label.

    smiler594

    Give her a Spurs shirt on Match day and COYS!!



    ​and she will bin bag you X)

    shauneco

    My wife's been telling me for the past 15 years that size doesn't matter, … My wife's been telling me for the past 15 years that size doesn't matter, It's like shes constantly trying to reassure me.



    It's not the size that matters it's the ... oh wait, no, it is the size.

    3guesses

    It's not the size that matters it's the ... oh wait, no, it is the size.


    It's all about the girth apparently lol.

    I am afraid this is not always true. If you ask me OH, he will definately say this is not true. I am afraid i dont add value as described in the original post, just the enlarge bit. Lol X)

    Original Poster Banned

    jymufc

    ​and she will bin bag you X)



    Hah!

    118luke

    Doesn't always work:I give her my credit card, my bank balance goes … Doesn't always work:I give her my credit card, my bank balance goes smallerI give her my car, my fuel decreases



    You're lucky she is a better driver than i am. I have dented me OH's car a few times now, including running into our drive entrance post three times already. Luckily he hasn't noticed as he is prone to scratching the car himself. X)

    I do a fart, she does a follow through

    shauneco

    It's all about the girth apparently lol.


    Mines only 4 inches , but some women like it that wide.

    shauneco

    My wife's been telling me for the past 15 years that size doesn't matter, … My wife's been telling me for the past 15 years that size doesn't matter, It's like shes constantly trying to reassure me.



    Either that or reassure herself, one or the other.

    plodging

    Mines only 4 inches , but some women like it that wide.



    Diameter or circumference? Asking for a 'friend'.

    moneysavingkitten

    Diameter or circumference? Asking for a 'friend'.


    Isn't plodging the same person who caught a 80lb 3ft Stickleback? You know - "It was that big!"
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_rqH4fUbko2U/R8HmsIf1OtI/AAAAAAAAGHc/TRcJcBKegFE/s320/POL+-+Nigel+Farage+045a.jpg

    mutley1

    You're lucky she is a better driver than i am. I have dented me OH's car … You're lucky she is a better driver than i am. I have dented me OH's car a few times now, including running into our drive entrance post three times already. Luckily he hasn't noticed as he is prone to scratching the car himself. X)



    Trust me, if you look at her car - you'll soon see shes just the same. Her car was immaculate when she bought it, but the cars used in stock car races are in better condition than hers now!
    I got a brand new Range Rover in April last year - she scratched it 2 months later by driving it into a wall in the car park.
    118luke was not a happy chappie i can tell you (_;)

    mutley1

    You're lucky she is a better driver than i am. I have dented me OH's car … You're lucky she is a better driver than i am. I have dented me OH's car a few times now, including running into our drive entrance post three times already. Luckily he hasn't noticed as he is prone to scratching the car himself. X)



    ​are you my ex wife?
    she couldn't get her head round the concept of get out of the drive before turning left or right,
    she was also good at hitting bollards and the only trolley in the car park.
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