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    Typical Bloke?......

    A typical bloke, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take a
    holiday. He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded to have the time of his
    life, that is, until the ship sank.

    He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing,
    only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach
    one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

    In disbelief, he asks, 'Where did you come from? How did you get here?' She
    replies, 'I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my
    cruise ship sank.'

    'Amazing,' he notes. 'You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with
    you.' 'Oh, this thing?' explains the woman. 'I made the boat out of raw
    material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree
    branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came
    from a Eucalyptus tree.'

    'But, where did you get the tools?'

    'Oh, that was no problem,' replied the woman. 'On the south side of the
    island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I
    fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. I
    used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.'

    The guy is stunned.

    'Let's row over to my place,' she says. After a few minutes of rowing, she
    docks the boat at a small wharf.. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls
    off the boat. Before him is stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow
    painted in blue and white.

    While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the
    man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says
    casually, 'It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you
    like a drink?'

    'No! No thank you,' he blurts out, still dazed.

    'I can't take another drop of coconut juice.' 'It's not coconut juice,'
    winks the woman. 'I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?'

    Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down
    on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman
    announces, 'I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you
    like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom
    cabinet.'

    No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in
    the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to
    a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

    'This woman is amazing,' he muses. 'What next?'

    When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically
    positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit
    down next to her.

    'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'We've been
    out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you
    really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for?' She
    stares into his eyes ....

    He swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes.....

























    ............don't tell me you've got Sky Sports?'

    9 Comments

    Pause for laughs

    good one

    good one although its really long

    dandoc2;5171010

    good one although its really long



    Ooops, 'scuse me *zips* :whistling:

    that is funny

    How did he go upstairs in a bungalow?

    I liked it

    Goonieman;5171237

    How did he go upstairs in a bungalow?



    That comment is nearly as funny as the joke. ;-)

    Goonieman;5171237

    How did he go upstairs in a bungalow?



    i was thinking that :whistling:
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