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    USEFUL MONEY SAVING TIPS DURING THE CREDIT CRUNCH

    > OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books, simply
    > cross out the names and address of people you don't know.



    DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite
    > tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another
    > song you like and hum that instead.
    >
    > DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your
    > identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with
    > your old bank statements.
    >
    > HOMEOWNERS: Prevent burglars stealing everything in the house by simply
    > moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In
    > the morning, simply move it all back again.
    >
    > SAVE money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply
    > changing your name to match your existing plate. - Mr. KVL 741Y,
    >
    > DON'T waste money buying expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to
    > the object you wish to view.
    >
    > SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking
    > around wearing a miner's hat.
    >
    > HOUSEWIVES, the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the
    > price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in
    > your coat pocket.
    >
    > SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following
    > morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble
    > full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.
    >
    > SAVE a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam, they
    > will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence.
    >
    > OLD people, if you feel cold indoors this winter, simply pop outside for
    > ten minutes without a coat. When you go back inside you will really feel
    > the benefit.
    >
    > CAN'T afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of cling film
    > and press them into your eyes.
    >
    > WHY pay the earth for expensive jigsaws? Just take a bag of frozen chips
    > from the freezer and try piecing together potatoes.
    >
    > MIX tea with coffee, and leave in the fridge to cool. Hey presto!
    > Toffee.
    >
    > MAKE your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry on
    > a window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs.
    >
    > SHOPPERS, when buying oranges, get more for your money by peeling them
    > before taking them to the counter to be weighed.
    >
    > WOMEN: Don't waste energy faking orgasms. Most men couldn't care less
    > anyway and you could use the saved energy to Hoover the house
    > afterwards.
    >
    > MANCHESTER UNITED FANS - save money on expensive new kits by simply
    > strapping a large fake p**is to your forehead. Your allegiance is now clear to all.
    >
    > AN empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an
    > inexpensive vibrator.

    11 Comments

    ok this cheered me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!i already do one ...sad !!!!!!!!!!!!!!i do the daily dog **** pick up from the run and put my shreddable stuff in it(the bag i pick it up in i mean,)...lol...anyone want to try and get my bank details...go ahead its all in there

    Original Poster

    lorsmanic;4701675

    ok this cheered me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!i already do one ...sad !!!!!!!!!!!!!!i … ok this cheered me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!i already do one ...sad !!!!!!!!!!!!!!i do the daily dog **** pick up from the run and put my shreddable stuff in it(the bag i pick it up in i mean,)...lol...anyone want to try and get my bank details...go ahead its all in there



    Barklays?

    where will i get me some angry wasps??anyone ??paypal gift??will pay delivery

    Haha LMAO!!!!

    Lmao, some of those really made me giggle..

    brb, putting my ipod on ebay.... lol

    Original Poster

    MANCHESTER UNITED FANS - save money on expensive new kits by simply
    > strapping a large fake p**is to your forehead. Your allegiance is now clear to all.


    Get in Fulham

    Original Poster

    starsparkle2311;4703308

    skusey, prepare yourself, I actually found some of the above funny!!!!! … skusey, prepare yourself, I actually found some of the above funny!!!!! LOL



    praise the lord, fly the flags

    SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The … SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The followingmorning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimblefull of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.



    Now that's made me laugh :thumbsup:

    Very funny. Thanks OP.:)

    very very funny. thanks for the laugh

    Excellent - thanks
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