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    Valentines alternatives

    Bit late now I'm afraid, but maybe for next year!

    These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line:

    Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
    But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

    I thought that I could love no other
    Until, that is, I met your brother.

    Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
    But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

    Of loving beauty you float with grace
    If only you could hide your face

    Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
    This describes everything you're not

    I want to feel your sweet embrace
    But don't take that paper bag off of your face

    I love your smile, your face, your eyes-
    Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

    My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
    Marrying you screwed up my life

    I see your face when I am dreaming.
    That's why I always wake up screaming

    My love, you take my breath away.
    What have you stepped in to smell this way

    My feelings for you no words can tell
    Except for maybe "go to hell"

    What inspired this amorous rhyme?
    Two parts vodka, one part lime.

    1 Comment

    lol very good!!!!!!!!!!!
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