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    What a girl/boy says - but really means.....

    When it comes to 'wimmin' I'm a little basic (special needs, if you like) - help me out here.....

    30 Comments

    Original Poster

    I'm washing my hair.............

    When a woman says "its fine" it really is not

    ... same goes with.. 'yeh im ok' NOT

    when i say i'm washing my hair i am.... when my hubby asks am i alright when he knows i'm not i normally say 'yeah fine'

    fireheaven;3172777

    When a woman says "its fine" it really is not



    If a woman says it's fine....................................go hide.

    You want
    = You want

    We need
    = I want

    It's your decision
    = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

    Do what you want
    = You'll pay for this later.

    We need to talk
    = I need to complain

    Sure... go ahead
    = I don't want you to.

    I'm not upset
    = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

    You're ... so manly
    = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

    You're certainly attentive tonight.
    = Is sex all you ever think about?

    I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!
    = I'm on my period.

    Be romantic, turn out the lights.
    = I have flabby thighs.

    This kitchen is so inconvenient
    = I want a new house.

    I want new curtains
    = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

    I need wedding shoes
    = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

    Hang the picture there
    = NO, I mean hang it there!

    I heard a noise
    = I noticed you were almost asleep.

    Do you love me?
    = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

    How much do you love me?
    = I did something today you're really not going to like.

    I'll be ready in a minute.
    = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

    Is my butt fat?
    = Tell me I'm beautiful.

    You have to learn to communicate.
    = Just agree with me.

    Are you listening to me!?
    = [Too late, you're dead.]

    Yes
    = No

    No
    = No

    Maybe
    = No

    I'm sorry.
    = You'll be sorry.

    Do you like this recipe?
    = It's easy to make, so you'd better get used to it.

    Was that the baby?
    = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

    I'm not yelling!
    = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.



    (The answer to "What's wrong?")

    The same old thing
    = Nothing

    Nothing
    = Everything

    Everything
    = My PMS is acting up

    Nothing, really
    = It's just that you're such an jerk

    I don't want to talk about it
    = Go away, I'm still building up steam

    Original Poster

    fireheaven;3172849

    You want = You want We need = I want It's your decision = The correct … You want = You want We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later. We need to talk = I need to complain Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to. I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about? I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period. Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white. Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like. I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful. You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me. Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.] Yes = No No = No Maybe = No I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry. Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to make, so you'd better get used to it. Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep. I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important. (The answer to "What's wrong?") The same old thing = Nothing Nothing = Everything Everything = My PMS is acting up Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an jerk I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam



    'king hell !!!! I pity your other half...............:cry:

    agaveworm;3172860

    'king hell !!!! I pity your other half...............:cry:



    Lol that was just to help you out :thumbsup:

    fireheaven;3172849

    You want = You want We need = I want It's your decision = The correct … You want = You want We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later. We need to talk = I need to complain Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to. I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about? I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period. Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white. Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like. I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful. You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me. Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.] Yes = No No = No Maybe = No I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry. Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to make, so you'd better get used to it. Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep. I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important. (The answer to "What's wrong?") The same old thing = Nothing Nothing = Everything Everything = My PMS is acting up Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an jerk I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam



    Typical woman......................................make a list:whistling: ;-)

    fox2020;3172881

    Typical woman......................................make a list:whistling: … Typical woman......................................make a list:whistling: ;-)



    Ok fine! :x










    :-D ;-)

    Original Poster

    fireheaven;3172948

    Ok fine! :x



    Oh dear...:? I'm washing my hair now....:thumbsup:

    fireheaven;3172948

    Ok fine! :x:-D ;-)



    http://www.comicguide.net/images/smilies/lol1.gif

    agaveworm;3172965

    Oh dear...:? I'm washing my hair now....:thumbsup:



    :lol:

    I am nice...........honest

    Again just giving you an example. Women are complex creatures at the best of times

    Original Poster

    fireheaven;3173001

    :lol:I am nice...........honest :)Again just giving you an example. … :lol:I am nice...........honest :)Again just giving you an example. Women are complex creatures at the best of times



    Aren't women from Mars...........................?

    fireheaven;3173001

    :lol:I am nice...........honest :)Again just giving you an example. … :lol:I am nice...........honest :)Again just giving you an example. Women are complex creatures at the best of times



    Think you may have spelt complex wrong it is called psychotic most of the time:-D



    ;-)

    "I'm just checking my email" = "I'm addicted to HUKD Misc" (this one works for either gender)

    fox2020;3173041

    Think you may have spelt complex wrong it is called psychotic most of the … Think you may have spelt complex wrong it is called psychotic most of the time:-D;-)



    I do have to agree with you there - not in relation to myself I might add :-D

    fireheaven;3173086

    I do have to agree with you there - not in relation to myself I might add … I do have to agree with you there - not in relation to myself I might add :-D



    ;-) and on that note I bid you all....................................goodnight http://board.freeones.com/images/smilies/hatsoff.gif

    fox2020;3173119

    ;-) and on that note I bid you … ;-) and on that note I bid you all....................................goodnight




    Men talk ..........goodnight = spank the monkey :w00t:

    Night Fox :-D

    Original Poster

    Spank the what............? :oops:

    agaveworm;3173181

    Spank the what............? :oops:




    Ok...... spank the worm :w00t:;-)

    How to Make a Woman Happy




    It's not difficult to make a woman happy.



    A man only needs to be:





    1. a friend
    2. a companion
    3. a lover
    4. a brother
    5. a father
    6. a master
    7. a chef
    8. an electrician
    9. a carpenter
    10. a plumber
    11. a mechanic
    12. a decorator
    13. a stylist
    14. a sexologist
    15. a gynecologist
    16. a psychologist
    17. a pest exterminator
    18. a psychiatrist
    19. a healer
    20. a good listener
    21. an organizer
    22. a good father
    23. very clean
    24. sympathetic
    25. athletic
    26. warm
    27. attentive
    28. gallant
    29. intelligent
    30. funny
    31. creative
    32. tender
    33. strong
    34. understanding
    35. tolerant
    36. prudent
    37. ambitious
    38. capable
    39. courageous
    40. determined
    41. true
    42. dependable
    43. passionate
    44. compassionate

    WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

    45. give her compliments regularly
    46. love shopping
    47. be honest
    48. be very rich
    49. not stress her out
    50. not look at other girls

    AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

    51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
    52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
    53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

    IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

    54. Never to forget:
    * birthdays
    * anniversaries
    * arrangements she makes





    HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY







    1. Show up naked
    2. Bring beer

    5rannoch;3173870

    How to Make a Woman Happy It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man … How to Make a Woman Happy It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be: 1. a friend2. a companion3. a lover4. a brother5. a father 6. a master7. a chef8. an electrician9. a carpenter10. a plumber11. a mechanic12. a decorator13. a stylist14. a sexologist15. a gynecologist16. a psychologist17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist19. a healer20. a good listener21. an organizer22. a good father23. very clean24. sympathetic25. athletic26. warm27. attentive28. gallant29. intelligent30. funny31. creative32. tender33. strong34. understanding35. tolerant36. prudent37. ambitious38. capable39. courageous40. determined41. true42. dependable43. passionate 44. compassionateWITHOUT FORGETTING TO:45. give her compliments regularly46. love shopping47. be honest48. be very rich49. not stress her out 50. not look at other girlsAND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself 53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goesIT IS VERY IMPORTANT:54. Never to forget:* birthdays* anniversaries * arrangements she makes HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY 1. Show up naked 2. Bring beer



    Lol good post :thumbsup::-D

    Banned

    How to make a woman happy in 3 easy steps :roll:

    Men, get ready. You are about to discover the secret that will … Men, get ready. You are about to discover the secret that will revolutionize your relationships.You are going to learn how to make the love of your life happy.And it isn't as expensive and complicated as you may think. The secret is known as the three "A's". Integrating these elements into your daily life will guarantee you an exciting, loving, and dynamic relationship. The three "A's" are attention, affection and appreciation. If you give your wife the attention she needs, the affection she longs for and the appreciation she deserves, then you are definitely going to make her happy.Now, before we begin, I'm going to let you in on an open secret.Men and Women are Different.Now, I don't know if they really come from different planets or not, but they are definitely, undeniably different from each other. And one of the ways in which those differences come out is in the needs that each one has from a relationship.Let's be honest. Who, really, understands relationships on a deeper level - men or women? For some reason, women seem to navigate relationships intuitively. We, on the other hand...need some tips.So what can we do? How can we have a beautiful relationship with someone who takes relationships so seriously?We need to invest some time into it. 24/7.And if we do it well, then she is going to take all that we've put in, turn it around and give back so much more - which will make us happier than we ever dreamed we could be. That's the cycle around which relationships revolve.That said, let's get moving.The Three A's.We'll start with appreciation.In order to understand what a women needs in order to feel appreciated, let's listen in on a conversation between Jessica and her mom, and Scott and his dad."Hi, Mom, how are you?""Great, Jessica. How are you? How was Beth's wedding? Tell me everything!""Oh, Mom, it was beautiful. Beth's dress was stunning, like she stepped out of a fairy tale. Puffed sleeves, Belgian lace, real seawater pearls, and the fabric was the most gorgeous satin I've ever seen.""What was her bouquet like?""All roses. Cream, white, light pink. And the centerpieces had the same roses, with candles.""What did you wear?"You get the picture.Now we'll flash to Scott's conversation with his dad."Hi, Dad.""Hi, Scott. How's it going?""Great. You?""Just fine. How was the wedding?""Beautiful.""Glad to hear it. Love you, son. Take care.""Love you too, Dad."End of dialogue.Why did it take Jessica longer to say hello to her mom than Scott's whole conversation with his dad? Because men and women are different. Women go into detail because they use words to connect on an emotional level. Men, on the other hand, use words in order to communicate information. That's why just saying hello and goodbye for a woman can take longer than an entire conversation for a man.Understanding this is the key to appreciating your wife. If you really want to make her feel appreciated, then allow her to connect to you emotionally through those details. That's what she needs.Now you understand why, when you ask her how work was today, she answers, "Oh, at the beginning it was great. I was walking down the street, looking at the sky and thinking that maybe..." She's connecting to you.Be open enough to listen.She'll feel that you appreciate who she is and what she thinks and feels. And if you want to throw in a bonus now and then, so when she asks you the same question, answer her by telling her how crowded the train was, and the coffeemaker was broken so you went down the street to Starbuck's and on the way you met an old college roommate - to you it may sound boring, but she's going to feel great that you're sharing the details of your day. Trust me.Attention. Give your wife your undivided attention when she talks to you. What's undivided attention? That means assuming "the position." Put the paper down. Put the computer on standby. Turn off the TV ("off", not "mute"). Make eye contact.Now, you may be thinking, that's not so hard. I can even fake it if I have to, right? Wrong! Remember what we said earlier about women and relationships? Her relationship-radar will tell her that you are spacing out even before you realize it.So don't take chances. Put aside whatever you're doing, make eye contact and listen to her with your undivided attention. And if you're really too busy at the moment, then assume that position and say, "You know, honey, I really want to hear what you have to say, but I'm right in the middle of something and I can't drop it. As soon as I finish I'll be able to give you my undivided attention, okay?" Good job.Affection. The number one tool for showing your spouse affection is to use "affectionate tones". What are affectionate tones, you ask? Using affectionate tones means always speaking in a way that conveys love and respect.See, we men tend to divide the relationship into various components. Part of it includes affection, so then we'll speak in affectionate tones. Paying the bills? Business tones. Parenting? Parenting tones. Going out with friends? Social tones. But for women, everything in the relationship is a relationship. It doesn't matter what you're doing; for her, it's an opportunity to connect.So if it's time for affection, use affectionate tones. Balancing the checkbook? Affectionate tones. Whatever you're doing, use affectionate tones.Now, go find your soul mate. Start giving her the three A's. You'll be shocked at how immediate the results are, and how your relationship will be stronger and more loving than you ever thought it could be.

    fireheaven;3173154

    Men talk ..........goodnight = spank the monkey :w00t:



    fireheaven;3173261

    Ok...... spank the worm :w00t:;-)



    OMFG I just laughed hard:w00t:

    Banned

    robtallica;3174341

    OMFG I just laughed hard:w00t:



    As long as that was the only thing that was hard

    Foosball Chum;3174363

    As long as that was the only thing that was hard



    trust you :oops::p

    Nah I'm not PM'ing FH currently so my bloods not boiling over:w00t:

    Foosball Chum;3174363

    As long as that was the only thing that was hard




    A bit of a pointless exercise if its not surely :w00t:

    Banned

    robtallica;3174377

    trust you :oops::pNah I'm not PM'ing FH currently so my bloods not … trust you :oops::pNah I'm not PM'ing FH currently so my bloods not boiling over:w00t:



    She makes your blood boil?

    fireheaven;3174385

    A bit of a pointless exercise if its not surely :w00t:



    Take you a little less time on the spray condom though :roll:

    Ohh another one - forget it means under no circumstances should you forget
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