Posted 23rd Dec 2022
Sharing is caring, whats your favourite xmas joke? or even the one that makes you groan the most?
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    I bought a Christmas tree today The girl in the shop asked if I was going to put it up myself I said... no I’ll be putting it up in the lounge
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    My favourite from a cracker: " Hickory Dickery Dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one and the other escaped with minor injuries"
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    How did Mary and Joseph get their Christmas shopping delivered? By a Lidl donkey.
    I actually liked this one, and weirdly I hadnnt heard before.
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    Question: What did the angry snowman say to the carrot?
    Answer: “ Get out of my face! “
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    I forgot to share any myself, here's one from Gary Delaney;

    Every Christmas morning, me and my siblings would creep across the landing, shouting "has he been! Has he been!"

    Because none of us were allowed downstairs to open our presents until my father had finished taking his morning poo
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    I've got similar feelings toward DPD at the moment.
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    What's the best present you can give someone?
    A: A broken drum - I mean you can't beat that can you?
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    Dad Dad I got my eye on a new bike for Christmas it's in Halfords Shop window. Keep your eye on it it son your not getting your arse on it!
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    Why was the snowman rummaging through the bag of carrots in the supermarket?
    He was picking his nose.
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    How does good King Wenceslas like his pizza?

    Deep and crisp and even.
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    Where is the turkey never hungry? Because it always gets stuffed
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    Not a joke, however, all but one cracker had the same saying. And still to this day 35+ years ago I recall it every time I pull one.

    “Footsteps in the sand of time are not made by sitting down” rubbish isn’t it but it plagues me still !
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    Does Santa ever get Claustrophobia going down chimneys?
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    What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?

    A twerky.
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    How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus was 6lb 6oz?

    A "weigh" in a manger
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