The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the
    festivities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate.

    After a little while out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the
    right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and
    stuffed pillows on her right.

    A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the
    family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started
    leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a
    pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.

    A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said, "Hi, Grandma,
    you're looking good! How are they treating you?"
    Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew... "They won't let me fart."




    Original Poster

    A little American Indian boy asked his father, the big chief and witch Doctor of the tribe, "Papa, why is it that we have long names, while The white men have shorter names like Bill, Tex, Sam..."

    His father replied, "Son,our names represent a symbol, a sign, or a poem for our culture not like the white men, who live all together and repeat their names from generation to generation. Also, it is part of our makeup that in spite of everything, we survive.

    For example, your sister's name is Small Romantic Moon Over The Lake, because on the night she was born, there was a beautiful moon reflected in the lake.

    Then there's your brother, Big White Horse of the Prairies, because he was born on a day that the big white horse who gallops over the prairies of the world appeared near our camp and is a symbol of our capacity to live and the life force of our people. It's very simple and easy to understand. Do you have any other questions, Little Broken Condom Made in China?

    Original Poster

    [FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=#993399]4TH TIME IS THE CHARM.....

    The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because
    she had just gotten married -- for the fourth time.

    The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

    "He's a funeral director," she answered.

    "Interesting," the newsman thought.

    He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

    She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.

    The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

    She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."[/COLOR][/FONT]

    lol love them all
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