Which one.

101
Found 27th MarEdited by:"tryn2help"
Of all the people you know and love, family and friends, which one do think is the most likely to commit suicide?


Horrid question. Sorry, but with suicide rates rising to alarming numbers it's maybe something we ought to ask ourselves.


One of my best friends, of all people, never thought for a moment he'd do that.

Rates amongst young men in particular are now averaging 12 per day . . . and rising.


There's a petition on Change .com asking the govenment to make suicide prevention and support a government minister's responsibility.


Which one of your family and friends, or anyone reading this, needs help?



Help groups; Elefriends,Breathing Space, CALM, Samaritans.
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MIND another wonderful organisation who can offer counselling.
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Just a little update on my brother, so people do know things can get better.

He was in over £20,000 debt, he was on probation at work, he didn’t have a girlfriend and he was feeling suicidal.

I managed to get to get him (but that’s not to detract from the amazing efforts he put it, he was the one that stuck to it, but he had got to a point he NEEDED help and someone to start the path with him) mental health help (medication, psychologists, counselling, CBT etc ) and on a debt management plan.

From then then he was more stable and excelled at work and got together with an amazing woman.

3 - 4 years later he is still in a great job, this month he moved into his first home, he is engaged and the only debt he has is the mortgage and £5,000 on his credit card.

Things really can do a 180.
Edited by: "sicklysweet" 27th Mar
Segata-Sanshiro11 m ago

I'm not belittling anyone.


Your comments aren't helping those who are suffering on here. Don't let the bitterness of your life rub off on others and just keep your comments to yourself.
Its very sad to hear some of the stories told here and some from friends.

For my bit I would say life has a way of sometimes making it hell on earth and sometimes it's like heaven, I realise that it doesn't fit everyone but that's my thought.

Like a roller coaster ride , life is up and down but alas for some that down slope is too low for them to come back up.

One thing I have learnt is that there is light at the end of the tunnel and if you can get through the hard times then you'll find a level of happiness at the end.

i know my words may not fit in everybodies way of thinking and I'm not trying to either. Neither am I trying to say I totally understand for only they know what mind space they are in.

Take care X
Just my tuppence worth...

Normally those considering suicide are so deep in a depression that they simply can't help themselves. You don't just suddenly feel suicidal, generally - it's a state of mind that gradually creeps up on you, normally due to a culmination of different factors or events.

When those thoughts enter your head, you've probably fought as much as you can, you're exhausted from the fight, you have no fight left. Suicide then might seem the better option - not just for you, but for those around you. You'll probably feel like you're a burden to those you love, like they would be better off without you, and actually, losing you would probably make their lives a lot easier / better.

With your thoughts as clouded as this - because they really are clouded, you really do matter to those people, and they really would miss you, rational thought has gone out the window. You'll probably still look at other ways out, but generally, the ultimate solution will always be in the back of your mind, and you can't steer yourself away from those thoughts, no matter how hard you try.

To suggest that these people just "try harder" is, quite frankly, absurd, and really shows a complete lack of understanding of depression, mental illness, suicide. It's not just someone having a bad day and thinking "I'll just end it", it's a battle they've been fighting for months, or years, and these people need whatever help can be given to them. Friends, family, professionals, whatever it takes.

If you think someone's having a hard time, don't try and tackle it head on, unless they've asked for help, or you know for sure that it's going to work. Just make yourself more visible and accessible to them. Invite them for a coffee, include them wherever you can, but don't try to make their business, your business. Just be there, and make them feel valued. Encourage other people, their friends, family to do the same, but do it discreetly. Don't make it look like some sort of intervention, as they may not appreciate the interference. It's important to remember that there isn't one single person that can fix it - it will be a group effort, and will take a long time.

It really irritates me when those suffering are all put under the same umbrella, and blamed for the way they feel, and for the actions they take. We're all different, we all have different coping mechanisms, and all have our own little triggers.

Suicide isn't a selfish act. It's a last resort, when you think nothing else will fix your pain, and nothing else will ease the burden you feel you're imposing on others. It's probably one of the most selfless and courageous things anyone can do. I'm not sure I could ever do it - however bad it was, I'd probably bottle it. But if you're considering it, if you think you're brave enough to do it, just imagine what else you could achieve, with a little help from your friends.

Don't give up.
Edited by: "miikeyblue" 31st Mar
101 Comments
I doubt this will be much of a discussion thread, other than peeps sharing experiences - it's reckoned every suicide negatively affects an average of 130 people. I'm still shocked and upset, wish he could have talked with me, lots of people devastated, especially his kids.



There are groups such as The Samaritans, but also other groups aimed specifically at men (three times more likely to commit suicide), such as the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM).

It's estimated that more than 6,000 people per year take their own life in the UK - and almost 20 times that number attempt it.

If you, or anyone you know needs help there are organisations such as the above which might be able to provide it.
Edited by: "tryn2help" 27th Mar
Its probably the person whom I forgot to catch up with recently, best to keep close because often people can fall into negative thoughts quite quickly.

As you mention I am glad that in the UK there are fantastic charities and volunteers who help people close to the brink.

At different times people ebb and flow from positivity and desperation, irrespective of their lot, - life is full of wonderful and not so wonderful surprises as well as positive and negative experiences.

Some find solace in close friends or wisdom whether from religious or non religious circles/community.

Life can be silly, frustratingly short, tediously long, wonderful and sometimes awful, just ride it out.


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Edited by: "davewave" 27th Mar
I would recommend Elefriends to anyone struggling with mental health issues. It's anonymous and a non-judgmental platform.

Peace and love HUKD
davewave33 m ago

Its probably the person whom I forgot to catch up with recently, best to …Its probably the person whom I forgot to catch up with recently, best to keep close because often people can fall into negative thoughts quite quickly.As you mention I am glad that in the UK there are fantastic charities and volunteers who help people close to the brink.At different times people ebb and flow from positivity and desperation, irrespective of their lot, - life is full of wonderful and not so wonderful surprises as well as positive and negative experiences. Some find solace in close friends or wisdom whether from religious or non religious circles/community.Life can be silly, frustratingly short, tediously long, wonderful and sometimes awful, just ride it out. [Image]



I was surprised to see the high amount of police officers and fire-fighters in the figures - it seems to be something people from all walks of life are affected by, but I'm obviously ignorant of the difficulties people in our services are faced with.

I have the greatest respect for people who put their life on the line for the rest of us, but it obviously takes it's toll on them.

It's true we have organisations whereas other countries don't - World Health Organisation says someone commits suicide every 40 seconds in the world, expected to rise to every 20 seconds in the next couple of years, and most places have no help whatsoever.
It will always be someone you'd never expect it from. There are those that are obviously struggling but, if they have good people around them, they receive help. It's the people that hide their problems that are most at risk. The best thing you can do is be nice to everyone, it's not hard and it makes you feel good too.
bo0td27th Mar

It will always be someone you'd never expect it from. There are those that …It will always be someone you'd never expect it from. There are those that are obviously struggling but, if they have good people around them, they receive help. It's the people that hide their problems that are most at risk. The best thing you can do is be nice to everyone, it's not hard and it makes you feel good too.


I totally agree, there's a reason for instance why that old person is talking to the cashier for longer than normal

Loneliness can crush positive thought.

I recommend to be kind, polite and patient not just out of simple good etiquette but because it really has an impact on society.
Itsbowtime41 m ago

I would recommend Elefriends to anyone struggling with mental health …I would recommend Elefriends to anyone struggling with mental health issues. It's anonymous and a non-judgmental platform. Peace and love HUKD


Thanks Itsbowtime.

Here's a link to Elefriends.
If you want to do something positive then you can't totally understand the reasons or affect the past but instead make a change in your future behaviour if needed at all.

Sometimes people in a negative cycle are determined to refuse good advice, help, a hand, friendship or professional help, seriously it's not your burden that they ended their life.
Biggest killer of men under 45
such a sad fact
davewave51 m ago

If you want to do something positive then you can't totally understand the …If you want to do something positive then you can't totally understand the reasons or affect the past but instead make a change in your future behaviour if needed at all. Sometimes people in a negative cycle are determined to refuse good advice, help, a hand, friendship or professional help, seriously it's not your burden that they ended their life.



You're totally right, of course, Dave, but I suppose the thoughts going through my head are to be expected of anyone in my position.

I'm just stunned, him of all people.
He was always upbeat, the type of bloke it gladdened your heart when you saw him - everybody's pal, well liked, great heart, nothing too much trouble. Always looking on the bright side, always smiling, laughing, we could talk about anything, no subject was taboo, everybody should have friends like him.

Did lose touch with him for a few years, he was a fairly successful hard-working lad and work took him to other pastures, it was his family told my family of the bad news. Thought there'd been some sort of mistake, not him at all, that's just not him - but it was.
No one had a clue at all, no hint, no troubles that anyone knew of, no skeletons in the cupboard, nothing, he just drove off in his car, did what he did, and that was that. God rest his soul, gone too soon, total devastation of family and friends. Praying all of them can get through this horror.
tryn2help7 m ago

You're totally right, of course, Dave, but I suppose the thoughts going …You're totally right, of course, Dave, but I suppose the thoughts going through my head are to be expected of anyone in my position.I'm just stunned, him of all people. He was always upbeat, the type of bloke it gladdened your heart when you saw him - everybody's pal, well liked, great heart, nothing too much trouble. Always looking on the bright side, always smiling, laughing, we could talk about anything, no subject was taboo, everybody should have friends like him.Did lose touch with him for a few years, he was a fairly successful hard-working lad and work took him to other pastures, it was his family told my family of the bad news. Thought there'd been some sort of mistake, not him at all, that's just not him - but it was. No one had a clue at all, no hint, no troubles that anyone knew of, no skeletons in the cupboard, nothing, he just drove off in his car, did what he did, and that was that. God rest his soul, gone too soon, total devastation of family and friends. Praying all of them can get through this horror.


Grieve for his memory but it's clear that you are compassionate, honour his loss by helping someone in need.

It is social responsibility which will provide the necessary antidote, you can't ask him what was wrong or what he was hiding so help someone else in his memory.
tryn2help15 m ago

You're totally right, of course, Dave, but I suppose the thoughts going …You're totally right, of course, Dave, but I suppose the thoughts going through my head are to be expected of anyone in my position.I'm just stunned, him of all people. He was always upbeat, the type of bloke it gladdened your heart when you saw him - everybody's pal, well liked, great heart, nothing too much trouble. Always looking on the bright side, always smiling, laughing, we could talk about anything, no subject was taboo, everybody should have friends like him.Did lose touch with him for a few years, he was a fairly successful hard-working lad and work took him to other pastures, it was his family told my family of the bad news. Thought there'd been some sort of mistake, not him at all, that's just not him - but it was. No one had a clue at all, no hint, no troubles that anyone knew of, no skeletons in the cupboard, nothing, he just drove off in his car, did what he did, and that was that. God rest his soul, gone too soon, total devastation of family and friends. Praying all of them can get through this horror.


So sad reading this about your friend There must have been something so deep rooted that he bottled everything up until he couldn't cope anymore
summerof7648 m ago

So sad reading this about your friend There must have been something …So sad reading this about your friend There must have been something so deep rooted that he bottled everything up until he couldn't cope anymore



Can't imagine where he was at, wouldn't want to, must have been hellish.

Know of at least two that have done this now, don't want to know of anymore.

Peeps are right about being nice to other peeps and helping make society a better place. That's the way forward.
I’ve talked my brother out of it before. More than once.

Thankfully i got him a place in an inpatient mental health hospital and they were fantastic.
My brother’s expeience of his local NHS crisis team was very very good.

If anyone has feelings of suicide, I hope they know there is help there and that asking for help doesn’t automatically lead to being sectioned etc.
Edited by: "sicklysweet" 27th Mar
Just a little update on my brother, so people do know things can get better.

He was in over £20,000 debt, he was on probation at work, he didn’t have a girlfriend and he was feeling suicidal.

I managed to get to get him (but that’s not to detract from the amazing efforts he put it, he was the one that stuck to it, but he had got to a point he NEEDED help and someone to start the path with him) mental health help (medication, psychologists, counselling, CBT etc ) and on a debt management plan.

From then then he was more stable and excelled at work and got together with an amazing woman.

3 - 4 years later he is still in a great job, this month he moved into his first home, he is engaged and the only debt he has is the mortgage and £5,000 on his credit card.

Things really can do a 180.
Edited by: "sicklysweet" 27th Mar
I've known three people who've attempted suicide;

One through extreme physical pain and job related stress. They took prescription drugs, were hospitalised and recovered. Saw it themselves as a cry for help and changed their lifestyle. Male aged 34

Second took paracetamol overdose and immediately sought help, not intending to die but trying to get attention of ex, not realizing how bad a paracetamol overdose is. Female, 19

Finally, teacher, happily married 39 yr old male, father of 2, had a few drinks, row with wife. Wife went walking the dog came back to find he'd hanged himself. Had he been sober it would never have happened, no history of depression, no stress related problems. Did he intend to succeed..probably not. But he just became another statistic.
I expect it to be my ex, but what can you do?

He shouted about it enough, he wouldn't set foot near a doctor still wont, the crisis team wouldn't do anything and said it was up to him to seek help as did the police and his GP wouldn't talk to me.

I told his family but they wouldn't listen, blamed me for the breakup and were angry I'd accused their son of having depression.

So what can you do, can't help someone who wont help himself, the social worker says he can't be that bad as he's holding down a job, the school counselor thinks we shouldn't go anywhere near him because he's mentally unstable, I posted him a birthday present he received it and asked to see our son, so we did see him for awhile, he looks like a dosser and is getting fatter and fatter, then he went back into his shell again and radio silence, I did text him to ask when he wanted to be given the easter egg we got him and that just made him angry so I'm leaving him alone but letting him know we love him.

All this stuff about mental illness is peeing in the wind, A&E have psychiatrists on call for suicidal people, councils have crisis teams, the NHS will help. But people mainly men it seems would rather die then accept\ask for help.
tryn2help4 h, 20 m ago

You're totally right, of course, Dave, but I suppose the thoughts going …You're totally right, of course, Dave, but I suppose the thoughts going through my head are to be expected of anyone in my position.I'm just stunned, him of all people. He was always upbeat, the type of bloke it gladdened your heart when you saw him - everybody's pal, well liked, great heart, nothing too much trouble. Always looking on the bright side, always smiling, laughing, we could talk about anything, no subject was taboo, everybody should have friends like him.Did lose touch with him for a few years, he was a fairly successful hard-working lad and work took him to other pastures, it was his family told my family of the bad news. Thought there'd been some sort of mistake, not him at all, that's just not him - but it was. No one had a clue at all, no hint, no troubles that anyone knew of, no skeletons in the cupboard, nothing, he just drove off in his car, did what he did, and that was that. God rest his soul, gone too soon, total devastation of family and friends. Praying all of them can get through this horror.


Masking is common
themachman6 h, 53 m ago

Biggest killer of men under 45such a sad fact


How is that worked out?
Isn't cancer or road accidents more likely?
My Grandad put a shotgun in his mouth


I don't think you can stop it happening
ME!!!!!!

:-(

Wen I was ilkkle.. . .. .. I got meningitis.. .. .and my mummy was told that i was unlikely to live - or best case scenario i would have horrific brain damage... I was given the "Last Rights" by the Hospital Priest...

However, things moved on and i got better - then about 19 months later i went back to hospital with a broken leg..... I had accidentally fallen off my daddies shoulders during a party... ... I went back to the same ward that i was in that time before - later that night mum n dad went home and there was a huge argument and mum was scared i was going to die again... .. So she took a massive overdose of (what was then) anti depressants for what we now know as post natal depression and sadly died from the result of it.... ..

A bit later on (I was 18 months old then) about 9 years later my dad remarried.. .. .. .. It all went pear shaped and - YEP! She left, got divorced, then got shot dead by her next bf....

My first love at school was just as weird and wacky and crazy as me and loved all of the weird music i did and clothes and so on ... but sadly, as we grew into our 20's we had kind of gone different paths she chose the police whereas i chose the City and things like that.. .. .. .. . ..

Anyway - she killed herself and suffocated her young son as well as her b/f was having an affair.......

I was still in touch with her - but had no idea that she was THAT bad - although we DID talk about foing it together as i was v depressed.....

These days - i have had counselling and all sorts of therapy - my dad has just died and inside so have i... ...
I am literally always always thinking of it - so much so that i have told those that know me - its not them or anything they could do - its just me and my pain and i want to be at peace i have had enough of this world and the pain that families (older brother and his family) create......

So - i think it would be me....

In some ways i would like it to be very soon as well - but lets not go there on a site like this just in case we upset others..

(((HUGS))))

Life is so cruel sometime it really is. Purrrrrrrrrrrr xxxxx
sicklysweet7 h, 57 m ago

Just a little update on my brother, so people do know things can get …Just a little update on my brother, so people do know things can get better. He was in over £20,000 debt, he was on probation at work, he didn’t have a girlfriend and he was feeling suicidal.I managed to get to get him (but that’s not to detract from the amazing efforts he put it, he was the one that stuck to it, but he had got to a point he NEEDED help and someone to start the path with him) mental health help (medication, psychologists, counselling, CBT etc ) and on a debt management plan. From then then he was more stable and excelled at work and got together with an amazing woman. 3 - 4 years later he is still in a great job, this month he moved into his first home, he is engaged and the only debt he has is the mortgage and £5,000 on his credit card. Things really can do a 180.


Aww that's both sad what he went through but happy to see things improved. I'm really glad things are going better for your brother and I hope they continue to improve. You're a wonderful sister to him < 3
Edited by: "Bure11" 28th Mar
cloudthecat4 h, 5 m ago

ME!!!!!!:-(Wen I was ilkkle.. . .. .. I got meningitis.. .. .and my mummy …ME!!!!!!:-(Wen I was ilkkle.. . .. .. I got meningitis.. .. .and my mummy was told that i was unlikely to live - or best case scenario i would have horrific brain damage... I was given the "Last Rights" by the Hospital Priest... However, things moved on and i got better - then about 19 months later i went back to hospital with a broken leg..... I had accidentally fallen off my daddies shoulders during a party... ... I went back to the same ward that i was in that time before - later that night mum n dad went home and there was a huge argument and mum was scared i was going to die again... .. So she took a massive overdose of (what was then) anti depressants for what we now know as post natal depression and sadly died from the result of it.... .. A bit later on (I was 18 months old then) about 9 years later my dad remarried.. .. .. .. It all went pear shaped and - YEP! She left, got divorced, then got shot dead by her next bf....My first love at school was just as weird and wacky and crazy as me and loved all of the weird music i did and clothes and so on ... but sadly, as we grew into our 20's we had kind of gone different paths she chose the police whereas i chose the City and things like that.. .. .. .. . .. Anyway - she killed herself and suffocated her young son as well as her b/f was having an affair.......I was still in touch with her - but had no idea that she was THAT bad - although we DID talk about foing it together as i was v depressed.....These days - i have had counselling and all sorts of therapy - my dad has just died and inside so have i... ... I am literally always always thinking of it - so much so that i have told those that know me - its not them or anything they could do - its just me and my pain and i want to be at peace i have had enough of this world and the pain that families (older brother and his family) create...... So - i think it would be me....In some ways i would like it to be very soon as well - but lets not go there on a site like this just in case we upset others..(((HUGS))))Life is so cruel sometime it really is. Purrrrrrrrrrrr xxxxx



Don't let it be you, Cloud, none of us knows what tomorrow brings - it might be something good.
cloudthecat6 h, 2 m ago

ME!!!!!!:-(Wen I was ilkkle.. . .. .. I got meningitis.. .. .and my mummy …ME!!!!!!:-(Wen I was ilkkle.. . .. .. I got meningitis.. .. .and my mummy was told that i was unlikely to live - or best case scenario i would have horrific brain damage... I was given the "Last Rights" by the Hospital Priest... However, things moved on and i got better - then about 19 months later i went back to hospital with a broken leg..... I had accidentally fallen off my daddies shoulders during a party... ... I went back to the same ward that i was in that time before - later that night mum n dad went home and there was a huge argument and mum was scared i was going to die again... .. So she took a massive overdose of (what was then) anti depressants for what we now know as post natal depression and sadly died from the result of it.... .. A bit later on (I was 18 months old then) about 9 years later my dad remarried.. .. .. .. It all went pear shaped and - YEP! She left, got divorced, then got shot dead by her next bf....My first love at school was just as weird and wacky and crazy as me and loved all of the weird music i did and clothes and so on ... but sadly, as we grew into our 20's we had kind of gone different paths she chose the police whereas i chose the City and things like that.. .. .. .. . .. Anyway - she killed herself and suffocated her young son as well as her b/f was having an affair.......I was still in touch with her - but had no idea that she was THAT bad - although we DID talk about foing it together as i was v depressed.....These days - i have had counselling and all sorts of therapy - my dad has just died and inside so have i... ... I am literally always always thinking of it - so much so that i have told those that know me - its not them or anything they could do - its just me and my pain and i want to be at peace i have had enough of this world and the pain that families (older brother and his family) create...... So - i think it would be me....In some ways i would like it to be very soon as well - but lets not go there on a site like this just in case we upset others..(((HUGS))))Life is so cruel sometime it really is. Purrrrrrrrrrrr xxxxx


Stop dwelling on things and just stop caring, stop worrying about the past and the future and the present and just accept that stuff happens and none of it really matters anyway, when you accept that everything is out of your control, it doesn't matter if you live or die, nothing matters and everything is just random and you just have to do your best, the pain goes away
Anyone that feels low enough to think death is an option needs help. I understand the world can be a very lonely place for some people. Some people bottle things up and deal with it in there own way. I'm a bottler but wouldn't contemplate suicide. I know that would be so unfair on my kids and family. Probably even set off a chain reaction. I guess their are circumstances that could push anyone over the edge. As a parent I can't imagine how difficult it must be to lose a child etc. Dealing with cancer and extreme pain would be difficult and scenarios where suicide would be a consideration!. Material things like dept, possessions I could deal with. Addictions I can deal with because it's unlikely I'll become an alcoholic, take any drugs etc.

Op, sorry to hear about your friend and cloudthecat don't even think about it, Talking about it is the first step to dealing with it!. There are lots of people that are willing to listen, Even if it's just a load of rubbish people still listen ;).
cloudthecat12 h, 2 m ago

ME!!!!!!:-(Wen I was ilkkle.. . .. .. I got meningitis.. .. .and my mummy …ME!!!!!!:-(Wen I was ilkkle.. . .. .. I got meningitis.. .. .and my mummy was told that i was unlikely to live - or best case scenario i would have horrific brain damage... I was given the "Last Rights" by the Hospital Priest... However, things moved on and i got better - then about 19 months later i went back to hospital with a broken leg..... I had accidentally fallen off my daddies shoulders during a party... ... I went back to the same ward that i was in that time before - later that night mum n dad went home and there was a huge argument and mum was scared i was going to die again... .. So she took a massive overdose of (what was then) anti depressants for what we now know as post natal depression and sadly died from the result of it.... .. A bit later on (I was 18 months old then) about 9 years later my dad remarried.. .. .. .. It all went pear shaped and - YEP! She left, got divorced, then got shot dead by her next bf....My first love at school was just as weird and wacky and crazy as me and loved all of the weird music i did and clothes and so on ... but sadly, as we grew into our 20's we had kind of gone different paths she chose the police whereas i chose the City and things like that.. .. .. .. . .. Anyway - she killed herself and suffocated her young son as well as her b/f was having an affair.......I was still in touch with her - but had no idea that she was THAT bad - although we DID talk about foing it together as i was v depressed.....These days - i have had counselling and all sorts of therapy - my dad has just died and inside so have i... ... I am literally always always thinking of it - so much so that i have told those that know me - its not them or anything they could do - its just me and my pain and i want to be at peace i have had enough of this world and the pain that families (older brother and his family) create...... So - i think it would be me....In some ways i would like it to be very soon as well - but lets not go there on a site like this just in case we upset others..(((HUGS))))Life is so cruel sometime it really is. Purrrrrrrrrrrr xxxxx



You need to be getting help, cloud --- but, you know that already.

If you feel the counselling, or other treatments you get or have had via your GP or others in the NHS haven't really helped you, it may be time to turn to groups such as those mentioned in this thread.

Elefriends, Calm or even Samaritans are all specialists in dealing with this situation, their approach to dealing with this may be very different and perhaps more helpful, but you won't know for sure till you give them a go - and I'm sure everyone in this thread would definitely advise you to give them a go.
Edited by: "tryn2help" 28th Mar
.MUFC.3 h, 13 m ago

Anyone that feels low enough to think death is an option needs help. I …Anyone that feels low enough to think death is an option needs help. I understand the world can be a very lonely place for some people. Some people bottle things up and deal with it in there own way. I'm a bottler but wouldn't contemplate suicide. I know that would be so unfair on my kids and family. Probably even set off a chain reaction. I guess their are circumstances that could push anyone over the edge. As a parent I can't imagine how difficult it must be to lose a child etc. Dealing with cancer and extreme pain would be difficult and scenarios where suicide would be a consideration!. Material things like dept, possessions I could deal with. Addictions I can deal with because it's unlikely I'll become an alcoholic, take any drugs etc. Op, sorry to hear about your friend and cloudthecat don't even think about it, Talking about it is the first step to dealing with it!. There are lots of people that are willing to listen, Even if it's just a load of rubbish people still listen ;).


I think with my brother a big contributor was being overwhelmed with everything in his life.

When you’re in that much debt, your girlfriend left you, your job is on the line and if you go bankrupt your livelihood is on the line (in financial services, so you’d fail background checks etc), it all seems overwhelmingly negative and there’s no break from it.

Simple joys such as a nice meal are too expensive and you can’t meet up with mates for a drink as you’ll lose face if you can’t buy a round.

When you’re that deep in a hole it can seem untenable, but the fact is the sooner you deal with it, face up to the issues and take hold of your life the sooner you can be on a positive path to fixing it all.

It might take time, perseverance, medication, counselling, facing up to harsh realities, being accountable to your past present and future actions and a lot more. However it will help and you can get your life back - you can start being in charge again rather than letting the negativity and depression lead.

Medications do help. It can take a bit of trial and error to get the right ones, however there are many different ones out there and if you’re open and honest to your doctor about how you’re feeling (even if it’s something small like having a dry mouth due to the meds) then they can help.

It’s difficult to face reality sometimes. It can be hard to self reflect on past mistakes, and it can be so overwhelming you don’t know where to start.

The thing is, there’s always somewhere to start. And there will always be someone to help you, whether it’s family, a friend, a charity or a medical professional. Or even some random people on HUKD!
Having said all that, when the suicidal thoughts are due to life limiting physical illnesses that nothing can be done medically to help, I very much understand the desire to be free from pain and suffering. However I don’t think my opinion on assisted suicide is relevant to this thread.
sicklysweet1 h, 42 m ago

I think with my brother a big contributor was being overwhelmed with …I think with my brother a big contributor was being overwhelmed with everything in his life. When you’re in that much debt, your girlfriend left you, your job is on the line and if you go bankrupt your livelihood is on the line (in financial services, so you’d fail background checks etc), it all seems overwhelmingly negative and there’s no break from it. Simple joys such as a nice meal are too expensive and you can’t meet up with mates for a drink as you’ll lose face if you can’t buy a round. When you’re that deep in a hole it can seem untenable, but the fact is the sooner you deal with it, face up to the issues and take hold of your life the sooner you can be on a positive path to fixing it all.It might take time, perseverance, medication, counselling, facing up to harsh realities, being accountable to your past present and future actions and a lot more. However it will help and you can get your life back - you can start being in charge again rather than letting the negativity and depression lead. Medications do help. It can take a bit of trial and error to get the right ones, however there are many different ones out there and if you’re open and honest to your doctor about how you’re feeling (even if it’s something small like having a dry mouth due to the meds) then they can help. It’s difficult to face reality sometimes. It can be hard to self reflect on past mistakes, and it can be so overwhelming you don’t know where to start. The thing is, there’s always somewhere to start. And there will always be someone to help you, whether it’s family, a friend, a charity or a medical professional. Or even some random people on HUKD!


I can understand your brothers scenario, I'm sorry if I sounded a little insensitive in regards to dept, I've never personally had much money to lose and don't bother with credit in general, Although I do have a car on HPI, Worse case scenario I'd sell it. So in theory I'm not building up any dept etc. It's very easy for things to escalate. No wife, no job and can't see a way forward, Must be very difficult, They often do tend to go hand in hand. It happens to so so many people, Some deal with it and sadly some don't. My main point is that you're never alone. Other people have suffered and come out the other side like your brother :).
.MUFC.6 h, 59 m ago

I can understand your brothers scenario, I'm sorry if I sounded a little …I can understand your brothers scenario, I'm sorry if I sounded a little insensitive in regards to dept, I've never personally had much money to lose and don't bother with credit in general, Although I do have a car on HPI, Worse case scenario I'd sell it. So in theory I'm not building up any dept etc. It's very easy for things to escalate. No wife, no job and can't see a way forward, Must be very difficult, They often do tend to go hand in hand. It happens to so so many people, Some deal with it and sadly some don't. My main point is that you're never alone. Other people have suffered and come out the other side like your brother :).


I knew what you meant, no worries.

My brother went to uni after school and straight away had a student loan, and I do think that he got into a mindset of debt being ok so the jump to credit card etc debt wasn’t so huge.

A significant part of his debt started off as a car loan (not HPI but an actual loan) and then 6 months after losing his job at the time he sold the car and used the money to maintain a lifestyle.

Whatever his choices (one could say mistakes, but he was an adult and free to make his own choices and they felt ‘right’ to him at the time), he made them and that’s nothing anyone can change. However once he got to a point of being unable to cope - genuinely, he was both mentally and physically unable to cope with life - he had a support system.

I hope that everyone in that position (and it can happen for so so many reasons, some that begin within their control and some beyond their control, but however it happens, if it leaves someone in a mentally hopeless situation it’s absolutely horrifc and no one deserves that) gets the support that is out there for them. Whether that support be family, friends, a&e, GP, charity or elsewhere, I hope everyone knows there is help. No one is ever truly alone. Ever.

Also a note - if you phone the Samaritans and don’t get someone you ‘click with’, you can politely end the phone call and get through to someone else. A friend of mine found one Samaritans person deeply unhelpful but the next person a literal life saver. You can always say ‘this isn’t working for me, please can I speak to someone else’. Better to do that than the phonecall not help you to the extent you need it to.
Edited by: "sicklysweet" 28th Mar
Me. The way life is going, I don't want to be a part of it much longer BUT I do have a wonderful counsellor who I have been seeing since 11/2016 so he must be doing something right. I have a 'date' in mind. He knows it so do my friends. The aim is to get me past this date as I see nothing to look forward to past this date. My dear friend @sicklysweet talk and she is a great support to me xx

+1 about finding a counsellor you get on with. Most, I have gelled with almost instantly. Those I haven't, I didn't go back to a a couple of visits. The Samaritans have been a lifeline for me since I was 15. I saved my 10p coins and phoned them from the school payphone. I was also lucky that when i was at school, teachers could take an interest in their pupils professionally and support them.
cloudthecat21 h, 36 m ago

ME!!!!!!:These days - i have had counselling and all sorts of therapy - my …ME!!!!!!:These days - i have had counselling and all sorts of therapy - my dad has just died and inside so have i... ... I am literally always always thinking of it - so much so that i have told those that know me - its not them or anything they could do - its just me and my pain and i want to be at peace i have had enough of this world and the pain that families (older brother and his family) create...... So - i think it would be me....In some ways i would like it to be very soon as well - but lets not go there on a site like this just in case we upset others..(((HUGS))))Life is so cruel sometime it really is. Purrrrrrrrrrrr xxxxx


This....it's me and no one can help me despite 20yrs of counselling. My friends love me, think I am a great person BUT I feel like a terrible burden on everyone. In pain daily. I want my mind to be still.

(((Hugs))) to all who have shared experiences
Segata-Sanshiro15 h, 35 m ago

Stop dwelling on things and just stop caring, stop worrying about the past …Stop dwelling on things and just stop caring, stop worrying about the past and the future and the present and just accept that stuff happens and none of it really matters anyway, when you accept that everything is out of your control, it doesn't matter if you live or die, nothing matters and everything is just random and you just have to do your best, the pain goes away


easier said than done
fern3718 m ago

easier said than done


No one can save you but yourself tho, all anyone can offer is support, you have to fight yourself.
Segata-Sanshiro1 h, 6 m ago

No one can save you but yourself tho, all anyone can offer is support, you …No one can save you but yourself tho, all anyone can offer is support, you have to fight yourself.


It is not (always) as simple as this.

If only it was.

I highly advise against what I would consider prejudiced responses like this as for someone at a crisis point it’s not at all helpful.

Please think more before you comment as within this subject it can be the difference between life and death.

If someone is feeling suicidal and is told ‘you have to fight this’ and they have no fight left (to have fought it for long enough to stay alive to that point can be exhausting and enough to break someone), it can lead to dire consequences.

Sometimes a person needs someone to hold them by the hand and help them. At crisis point help is what someone needs, not to be told ‘you are the owner of your own future’. They need help, support and/or medication to get to the point that they can then start to take control of their life again (and even then it’s still not always that simple).
Edited by: "sicklysweet" 28th Mar
Eighty four men in the UK end their lives every WEEK. ITV's This Morning are highlighting this issue this week.

I found a suicide victim in 2008 (my neighbour, and it's his 10th 'anniversary' next week) and as a result I have PTSD.

If you're on Facebook or Twitter, please show Suicide Prevention UK some attention. They do a lot of work to talk one-to-one with people who need help and point them in the right direction for whatever help it is they need. They're an absolute wealth of knowledge and well worth a 'like'.
Edited by: "squiff" 28th Mar
Can I just add that Samaritans are now FREE to call from landlines and mobiles. It doesn't use up credit or free minutes and doesn't show up on an itemised bill.

116 123 is the number.
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