Who's the dumb one?

I am a woman.

Basically yesterday I said something like I don't like bikinis and I think women should cover up. Personal opinion. I don't go campaigning for women in bikinis to be stoned to death or anything or call them names. I said I think women for me should wear a normal swimming costume because bikinis are too revealing and I think it's better to just have your partner admire your body.
Boyfriend started saying there is nothing wrong with bikinis, because he likes to look at them.

I said that he wouldn't like his daughter to wear them so if he thinks that they're so great, why are they bad for his daughter? He started calling me "retarded" and dumb because apparently I am the illogical one. Thinking one logic applies to his daughter and another one to the rest of the female world is logical instead.

I then said something like my opinion is valid and I can have whatever opinion I want, right or wrong. By valid I meant if I can explain my logic behind it then it's valid. Now if he takes valid as me saying my opinion is a universal truth then who's the moron here?

I proceeded to point out how comparing me to prostitutes because I lost my virginity to my only other boyfriend being as dumb as my statement about bikinis then, since he says my opinion on bikinis is emotional. Probably no one else would think I am akin to a prostitute, for having lost my virginity to a guy I had been with for 6 years and that was my only other man.
He said I have no logic and I talk like a typical woman, an illogical and emotional creature.

Am I really dumb when arguing?

44 Comments

can you say retarded?

Original Poster

caverncity

can you say retarded?



Changed it. In case it offends someone.

I think it's you for being in a relationship with someone who calls you retarded! (And that's my valid opinion using your own reasoning)

Hi Princess

thewongwing101

Hi Princess



She must have had a proof-reader.

caverncity

can you say retarded?



Retarded.

Yes.

Very odd 1st post

deeky

She must have had a proof-reader.


She ?

Original Poster

deeky

She must have had a proof-reader.


I'm not this Princess. Yeah, I think I can express myself reasonably well, thank you.

Not trolling sadly. Just want honest opinions about whether it is warranted to call me dumb. Apparently what bothered him the most is me saying my opinion is valid. An opinion can't be proven wrong because it's not based on fact, so any opinion is valid if it follows a logic. I think women should cover up therefore I don't like bikinis. Logical.
I think women should wear bikinis because they're good; my daughter is a woman but shouldn't wear bikinis; doesn't have a logic instead.
Edited by: "CookieCutter5" 21st Aug 2016

thewongwing101

Hi Princess




Damn beat me to it

CookieCutter5

I'm not this Princess. Yeah, I think I can express myself reasonably … I'm not this Princess. Yeah, I think I can express myself reasonably well, thank you.Not trolling sadly. Just want honest opinions about whether it is warranted to call me dumb. Apparently what bothered him the most is me saying my opinion is valid. An opinion can't be proven wrong because it's not based on fact, so any opinion is valid if it follows a logic. I think women should cover up therefore I don't like bikinis. Logical. I think women should wear bikinis because they're good; my daughter is a woman but shouldn't wear bikinis; doesn't have a logic instead.




Nothing wrong with bikinis and its upto you if you are happy to be called a **** without calling him a git.

you are obviously quite articulate dumb is abit far but I'd definitely say stupid! if I ever uttered the words illogical and emotional creature to someone I'd start questioning my own sanity tho! perhaps I don't watch enough university challenge

deeky

Very odd 1st post


Most people start with a deal or a comment, something like "Branston beans are the best".

CookieCutter5

I'm not this Princess. Yeah, I think I can express myself reasonably … I'm not this Princess. Yeah, I think I can express myself reasonably well, thank you.Not trolling sadly. Just want honest opinions about whether it is warranted to call me dumb. Apparently what bothered him the most is me saying my opinion is valid. An opinion can't be proven wrong because it's not based on fact, so any opinion is valid if it follows a logic. I think women should cover up therefore I don't like bikinis. Logical. I think women should wear bikinis because they're good; my daughter is a woman but shouldn't wear bikinis; doesn't have a logic instead.



In my opinion the sky is blue because all the unicorns were eaten by dinosaurs

In your opinion the above statement is right because it isn't based on facts

That does sound a bit dumb doesn't it?

Original Poster

I don't care if I am right or wrong about bikinis. I don't care if other women wear them. My focus wasn't the topic of the argument but his questioning my ability to argue logically.

I was called dumb because he didn't like being faced with his own contradictions. Calling me an emotional creature when his opinion of my non virginity being bad stems only from the fact that he has feelings for me and is jealous about my past is nonsensical. Just as emotional then. Same with bikinis being good only as long as it's not his daughter wearing one. Hypocritical and illogical if he thinks bikinis are good.

[email protected]

Most people start with a deal or a comment, something like "Branston … Most people start with a deal or a comment, something like "Branston beans are the best".



That is an opinion, not a fact lol

People go on the attack in an argument because they know they are wrong, which I think is evidenced by you pointing out his hypocritical stance. Since it's a debate on something meaningless I'd be concerned if there was true malice in what he said.

Original Poster

aau1

In my opinion the sky is blue because all the unicorns were eaten by … In my opinion the sky is blue because all the unicorns were eaten by dinosaursIn your opinion the above statement is right because it isn't based on factsThat does sound a bit dumb doesn't it?



Wrong. valid isn't the same as saying I am right. Valid is simply a way of saying that my opinion has the right to exist just like any other opinion. An opinion is neither right or wrong because it's not a truth that can be backed up by facts. It only needs to be backed up by a logic.

Original Poster

CookieCutter5

Wrong. Valid isn't the same as saying I am right. Valid is simply a way … Wrong. Valid isn't the same as saying I am right. Valid is simply a way of saying that my opinion has the right to exist just like any other opinion. An opinion is neither right or wrong because it's not a truth that can be backed up by facts. It only needs to be backed up by a logic.



That's not a valid opinion as there's no logic linking the two statements

CookieCutter5

I don't care if I am right or wrong about bikinis. I don't care if other … I don't care if I am right or wrong about bikinis. I don't care if other women wear them. My focus wasn't the topic of the argument but his questioning my ability to argue logically.I was called dumb because he didn't like being faced with his own contradictions. Calling me an emotional creature when his opinion of my non virginity being bad stems only from the fact that he has feelings for me and is jealous about my past is nonsensical. Just as emotional then. Same with bikinis being good only as long as it's not his daughter wearing one. Hypocritical and illogical if he thinks bikinis are good.



It's not illogical for a man to like bikinis and at the same time not like his daughter to wear one

I would say that is perfectly logical (and in your own words his opinion on that matter is right because it is based on logical reasoning and not facts)

Original Poster

drasim

People go on the attack in an argument because they know they are wrong, … People go on the attack in an argument because they know they are wrong, which I think is evidenced by you pointing out his hypocritical stance. Since it's a debate on something meaningless I'd be concerned if there was true malice in what he said.


Yes there was because he has a problem with my weight and he took my opinion on bikinis as whining about women who look good in bikinis and that made him get mad. I was slim and still didn't like them so I am not a hypocrite.

sheeeesssh! you study psychology don't u! lol, way too deep for a Sunday evening. Branson beans are best..........served in suspenders.

CookieCutter5

Wrong. valid isn't the same as saying I am right. Valid is simply a way … Wrong. valid isn't the same as saying I am right. Valid is simply a way of saying that my opinion has the right to exist just like any other opinion. An opinion is neither right or wrong because it's not a truth that can be backed up by facts. It only needs to be backed up by a logic.



Well that's not the same as saying an opinion can't be proven wrong is it?

CookieCutter5

Yes there was because he has a problem with my weight and he took my … Yes there was because he has a problem with my weight and he took my opinion on bikinis as whining about women who look good in bikinis and that made him get mad. I was slim and still didn't like them so I am not a hypocrite.



At this point it's no longer about debate and is more about you both organising to get couples counselling.

Original Poster

aau1

It's not illogical for a man to like bikinis and at the same time not … It's not illogical for a man to like bikinis and at the same time not like his daughter to wear oneI would say that is perfectly logical (and in your own words his opinion on that matter is right because it is based on logical reasoning and not facts)



Perfectly logical how? I think jeans are good on women. I don't have a problem with my daughter wearing them. Logical. If I think something is wrong for my daughter, I think it's wrong for any other woman. Logical.

I think something is good for women. I think this something is wrong for my daughter who's a woman. Hmmm what's the logic? There's no logic. Just your personal emotions getting in the way. Which is what he accused me of lol.

Original Poster

jarvist1980

sheeeesssh! you study psychology don't u! lol, way too deep for a Sunday … sheeeesssh! you study psychology don't u! lol, way too deep for a Sunday evening. Branson beans are best..........served in suspenders.


No I don't lol. My boyfriend would be surprised to hear that I am deemed to be studying something seeing as I am just a dumb woman!

CookieCutter5

Perfectly logical how? I think jeans are good on women. I don't have a … Perfectly logical how? I think jeans are good on women. I don't have a problem with my daughter wearing them. Logical. If I think something is wrong for my daughter, I think it's wrong for any other woman. Logical. I think something is good for women. I think this something is wrong for my daughter who's a woman. Hmmm what's the logic? There's no logic. Just your personal emotions getting in the way. Which is what he accused me of lol.



Men (and women) can be aroused by seeing women in bikinis

Men may dislike the sight of their daughter in a bikini arousing a man (or woman)

How is that NOT logical?

never bother arguing with women you can rarely win and isn't worth a night on the sofa.

Personally (I'm a guy) my opinion is. Women should wear whatever they feel comfortable in. Not what other people say. As for your daughter it all depends on age. I believe that bikinis should not be even made for girls under 18. But that's just my opinion in some people eyes that may be wrong. In others it may be right. It doesn't make it any less valid.

As for being called dumb. That is a tad harsh as that is your valid opinion and he has his equally valid opinion. The conflict comes because your opinions differ. Nobody is dumb just for having a differing opinion.

Once again he has degraded you by comparing you to a prostitute.

In my opinion just from what has been said you don't deserve any of the degrading behaviour demonstrated by him and deserve a lot better. He comes across as a guy that likes to check women out (even when in your company). And always has to be right. If people don't agree with him then they are wrong.

I understand the sentiments made about his daughter. However that's just a protection (hence emotional) thing. I don't have kids, but it's the same as my feelings that my sister won't have a boyfriend until she is at least 30. Yes I know it won't happen like that but again it's just a protection thing.

He shouldn't call you dumb or retarded and definitely shouldn't compare you to a prostitute. If this is how he acts in any argument I would take a look at the relationship and see if it's worth it. But that's just my opinion.

It is illogical to argue with someone who is not logical.

http://www.dumpaday.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/live-long-and-prosper-funny-cats.jpg

CookieCutter5

Perfectly logical how? I think jeans are good on women. I don't have a … Perfectly logical how? I think jeans are good on women. I don't have a problem with my daughter wearing them. Logical. If I think something is wrong for my daughter, I think it's wrong for any other woman. Logical. I think something is good for women. I think this something is wrong for my daughter who's a woman. Hmmm what's the logic? There's no logic. Just your personal emotions getting in the way. Which is what he accused me of lol.



So if you think it's wrong for your daughter to eat crisps or something, then other women shouldn't eat crisps, even if they like crisps?

Okay, I'm out. Not logical.

Women shouldn't argue, being the softer sex and all

" By valid I meant if I can explain my logic behind it "

Is there any logic to not wanting someone to show a little but of their body? There is nothing wroing with seeing someone skin, the problem lies with other peoples attitude to semi nudity, such as your attitude. If you have issues with someone's skin, then it is your issue and I think you are in the wrong and I don't think you have a logical argument.

i don't see why this has to be an argument at all. The op doesn't like to wear a bikini, so that's fine as whether men or women, you should be allowed to choose what you wear, which really bugs me when you have to wear a suit to work.

Shouldn't stop other women who want to wear bikini. Nothing wrong with a bikini unless you have excess fat, then please keep it to yourself X)

If you were having an argument such as this over whether either of you believe a bikini is suitable attire I think you have much deeper rooted problems than this.

It does sound like your partner isn't of the highest level of intelligence if he cannot comprehend that you share a difference to his opinion. To bring prostitution into the argument just seems bonkers and totally illogical.

Get rid, move on with your life seems to be the best suggestion.

ipswich78

If you were having an argument such as this over whether either of you … If you were having an argument such as this over whether either of you believe a bikini is suitable attire I think you have much deeper rooted problems than this. It does sound like your partner isn't of the highest level of intelligence if he cannot comprehend that you share a difference to his opinion. To bring prostitution into the argument just seems bonkers and totally illogical.Get rid, move on with your life seems to be the best suggestion.



It sounds like the issue has gone beyond the bikini views. The op doesn't like to be called dumb, which is the main issue. When people argue, they say all sorts of stupid things, which they may not mean as they are angry and want to retaliate.

I wouldn't get so worked up about it op and tell your partner that he shouldn't call you dumb as that is just nasty and not nice. Not sure where the prostitute comes into it. I row with me OH quite often, but never once did the prostitute problem gets mentioned

SO you have a sexist BF who calls you retarded, dumb and a prostitiute and you're still with him

Now that is more than a bit stupid

chocci

SO you have a sexist BF who calls you retarded, dumb and a prostitiute … SO you have a sexist BF who calls you retarded, dumb and a prostitiute and you're still with himNow that is more than a bit stupid



She may be calling him the same sort of things though. That may be the way they argue, throwing insults and calling each other names.

You are wrong, for three reasons. They are:

1) In our modern, progressive, and generally quite liberal society, a woman is free to wear whatever she wants. There's an inherent control freakery in arguing that she "should cover up" and keep her body as something only her partner should be able to see, and that's quite distasteful. It's not his body - it's hers, and she can do with it as she pleases.

2) Bringing his daughter into it is a cheap shot that makes no logical sense. If she's under a certain age, it's your partner's responsibility as a good parent to make decisions for her that are in her best interests to keep her safe, comfortable, and happy. If she's past that age, it's a moot point, because she is old enough to be responsible for herself and make her own decisions. I refer you back to the original point.

3) You are a woman.

dxx

You are wrong, for three reasons. They are:1) In our modern, progressive, … You are wrong, for three reasons. They are:1) In our modern, progressive, and generally quite liberal society, a woman is free to wear whatever she wants. There's an inherent control freakery in arguing that she "should cover up" and keep her body as something only her partner should be able to see, and that's quite distasteful. It's not his body - it's hers, and she can do with it as she pleases. 2) Bringing his daughter into it is a cheap shot that makes no logical sense. If she's under a certain age, it's your partner's responsibility as a good parent to make decisions for her that are in her best interests to keep her safe, comfortable, and happy. If she's past that age, it's a moot point, because she is old enough to be responsible for herself and make her own decisions. I refer you back to the original point.3) You are a woman.



I disgree with all your points except point 3 X)
No, i agree with everything, except point 3!
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