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    Why women shouoldn't take their husbands to Tesco

    What can possibly go wrong if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping?

    It's almost certainly absolute rubbish but this letter was apparently recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford ...

    "Dear Mrs. Murray,

    While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

    Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.

    5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

    7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

    8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

    9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were .

    10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

    11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

    12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

    13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again."

    And; last, but not least:

    14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."


    Yours sincerely,


    Charles Brown
    Store Manager"

    15 Comments

    lol, they make it sound like he's doing something unusual.

    I can't believe that actually happened, I wonder if sa!nburys watch me when we go shopping :w00t: omg do you think they saw what I did with those two fish last week :giggle:

    the tone of the letter is all wrong, i don't think this is real at all

    cant believe it.

    dont believe it!

    It's not real, it's a variation on the theme of "20 things to do..." Just do a search on the internet & you'll find some more (at work, at the beach, etc).

    Still, worth a chuckle or 2:-D

    This is on a number of sites and is not to be taken seriously, I find it funny though - think it was posted on another thread not long ago

    lmao, loving it

    Very juvenile........love it......PMSL.:giggle:
    All the things we'd love to do but are to afraid.:roll:

    great fun, i got this in an email, very funny

    must be talking about my husband, lol so funny. :giggle:

    Made me laugh! :giggle:

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    I can hold my hands up to some very similar stunts to this one!! :whistling:

    haha some good ideas there :thumbsup:

    9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the … 9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were .


    found this one quite funny
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