Wongy's Now TV Entertainment Pass Competition MK II. Tell us your best joke for Wongy's Giant Xmas Cracker!

91
Edited by:"Wongy110"Found 17th Dec 2017
I am making a giant Christmas cracker full of all my HUKD bargains from this year, for a game of secret santa. I need your best xmas cracker joke to go in it.

Winner as picked by Wongy will get an Now TV Entertainment pass (two in fact)


*Extra Extra*

Rakutentv £2.49 sd code movie rental WOW !


If you don't want a code just say *no ta*

Rules:

(There is no such thing as a too smutty joke. I have no shame.

Wongy's pick is final.

New accounts welcome, who cares along as you're funny.

We like gifs and videos. Nudes of giraffes also help.)


Winners decided Friday(ish)

Good luck!

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Top comments

Joey.Bloggsy4 m ago

Is this were we start telling naff jokes ?


What does Miley Cyrus have for her Christmas dinner?

Twerky

What does a train set and your wife’s boobs have in common?

They’re both made for kids but dad’s can’t help playing with them.

3 Dustbin Men, the driver and two other men, are going on their rounds asking for christmas bonuses which they do yearly.

They stop at the first house and one man runs in and a women gives him £5. They move on to another house and a bloke gives him £6.

They pull up to the next house and the man runs in knocks on the door and a women answers and says "oh yes..come upstairs with me"..without reply he goes up and she gives him a good time! Once they are finished she says now go and get your mate and tell him to come in for his 'bonus'. He goes out, tells his mate "go in get your bonus, she'll show you a bloody good time, one hell of a bonus!" He goes in, she shows him upstairs and true to her word he gets a real good bonus.

When their finished she says "go and get your driver and send him in for his bonus", off he goes and says to the driver- "driver its your turn now, go on my son its one hell of a christmas bonus" so of he goes. He steps in the door very excited and instead of taking him upstairs she takes reaches for her purse and pulls out £5 and gives it to him. He says "what the hell is this, you give my two friends the time of their life and you give me this?!"

She turns round and explains "I had strict instructions from my husband, he said 'give a fiver (£5) to the driver and F@@K the other two!!!'"
91 Comments

Is this were we start telling naff jokes ?

Original Poster

Joey.Bloggsy4 m ago

Is this were we start telling naff jokes ?


You really need an excuse ?
but yes already ffs
Edited by: "Wongy110" 17th Dec 2017

Joey.Bloggsy4 m ago

Is this were we start telling naff jokes ?


What does Miley Cyrus have for her Christmas dinner?

Twerky

Wongy1103 m ago

You really need an excuse ?but yes already ffs


When is a door not a door?

when it's...
...
.. / .-.. .. -.- . / -... .. --. / -... ..- - - ... / .- -. -.. / .. / -.-. .- -. -. --- - / .-.. .. .
A Jar!

Original Poster

Andy@XCite1 m ago

What does Miley Cyrus have for her Christmas dinner?Twerky


Now we are twerking

32792622-z9wgR.jpg

Andy@XCite5 m ago

What does Miley Cyrus have for her Christmas dinner?Twerky


Keke very good
But why does Wongy get upset
Is it because he doesn't like the jokes ?

Original Poster

Joey.Bloggsy6 m ago

Keke very good But why does Wongy get upset Is it because he doesn't …Keke very good But why does Wongy get upset Is it because he doesn't like the jokes ?


Yes but I foretold and ! cowoped MSK ! and left open the chance for the job of your dreams !
judging my awsome crimbo(gandlf don;lt like that) give away..

Edited by: "Wongy110" 17th Dec 2017

Original Poster

I should maybe point out that the thread is not entirely altruistic need a joke for a cracker

I know I'm on dibble duty (you still have to let me know what the rules are btw, I'm going with make them up as I go along right now :D)... but here's a joke for free.

What do you call a three legged donkey?










A wonkey.

I know it's old, but if it's told right, it still has be in stitches every time

Might be a bit more enticing if you let people know what the codes are for, my good giraffe

Original Poster

MSK.1 m ago

I know I'm on dibble duty (you still have to let me know what the rules …I know I'm on dibble duty (you still have to let me know what the rules are btw, I'm going with make them up as I go along right now :D)... but here's a joke for free.What do you call a three legged donkey?A wonkey.I know it's old, but if it's told right, it still has be in stitches every time




tru dat

Original Poster

MSK.5 m ago

Might be a bit more enticing if you let people know what the codes are …Might be a bit more enticing if you let people know what the codes are for, my good giraffe


I had the whole bloody thing sorted then the A holes....

Wongy1102 m ago

I had the whole bloody thing sorted then the A holes....


I give up , I dunno
Awaiting punch line to the joke.

Wongy1102 m ago

I had the whole bloody thing sorted then the A holes....


I just saw the other thread.

I'll write and you can copy paste if you like. But that OP needs a tidy. Can't let expiry grind you down

Joey.Bloggsy2 m ago

I give up , I dunno Awaiting punch line to the joke.


I did a google image search for an animated 'punchline' image. And all i got was this


32793154-5fwRj.jpg



I feel like this thread needs another do-over.

Original Poster

MSK.3 m ago

I just saw the other thread. I'll write and you can copy paste if you …I just saw the other thread. I'll write and you can copy paste if you like. But that OP needs a tidy. Can't let expiry grind you down


That might have been me at that stage




this thread/threads not gone as planed but who cares ?

Wongy1101 m ago

That might have been me at that stage[Video] this thread/threads not gone …That might have been me at that stage[Video] this thread/threads not gone as planed but who cares ?


Don't tell me I used up my wonkey joke for nothing

How are you going to get your cracker joke?

Original Poster

Hi Leah

Original Poster

MSK.4 m ago

Don't tell me I used up my wonkey joke for nothing How are you going to …Don't tell me I used up my wonkey joke for nothing How are you going to get your cracker joke?


It

copy paste me

Title: Wongy's Now TV Entertainment Pass Competition MK II. Tell is your best joke for Wongy's Giant Xmas Cracker!

Post: I am making a giant Christmas cracker full of all my HUKD bargains from this year, for a game of secret santa. I need your best xmas cracker joke to go in it.

Winner as picked by Wongy will get an Now TV Entertainment pass.

Rules:

There is no such thing as a too smutty joke. I have no shame.

Wongy's pick is final.

New accounts welcome, who cares along as you're funny.

We like gifs and videos. Nudes of giraffes also help.

Good luck!
Edited by: "MSK." 17th Dec 2017

Put the Xmas gin away

According to my wife........me!

Original Poster

benjammin3163 m ago

Put the Xmas gin away




Honest...

Why is Christmas just like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

hass1232 m ago

Why is Christmas just like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy …Why is Christmas just like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.


Hahaha, I quite like that one

3 Dustbin Men, the driver and two other men, are going on their rounds asking for christmas bonuses which they do yearly.

They stop at the first house and one man runs in and a women gives him £5. They move on to another house and a bloke gives him £6.

They pull up to the next house and the man runs in knocks on the door and a women answers and says "oh yes..come upstairs with me"..without reply he goes up and she gives him a good time! Once they are finished she says now go and get your mate and tell him to come in for his 'bonus'. He goes out, tells his mate "go in get your bonus, she'll show you a bloody good time, one hell of a bonus!" He goes in, she shows him upstairs and true to her word he gets a real good bonus.

When their finished she says "go and get your driver and send him in for his bonus", off he goes and says to the driver- "driver its your turn now, go on my son its one hell of a christmas bonus" so of he goes. He steps in the door very excited and instead of taking him upstairs she takes reaches for her purse and pulls out £5 and gives it to him. He says "what the hell is this, you give my two friends the time of their life and you give me this?!"

She turns round and explains "I had strict instructions from my husband, he said 'give a fiver (£5) to the driver and F@@K the other two!!!'"

Original Poster

hass1234 m ago

Why is Christmas just like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy …Why is Christmas just like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.


I see we have an Eric Idle fan ?
youtube.c om/watch?v=1H2mrV6vSPY

Oh this is a competition thread (who knew?), I don't need the code as these threads are entertaining enough so disregard my entry.
Plus I stole the joke from another website, just like this doozy ....

Why do giraffes have long necks? Because their feet smell.

Original Poster

haritori4 m ago

3 Dustbin Men, the driver and two other men, are going on their rounds …3 Dustbin Men, the driver and two other men, are going on their rounds asking for christmas bonuses which they do yearly.They stop at the first house and one man runs in and a women gives him £5. They move on to another house and a bloke gives him £6.They pull up to the next house and the man runs in knocks on the door and a women answers and says "oh yes..come upstairs with me"..without reply he goes up and she gives him a good time! Once they are finished she says now go and get your mate and tell him to come in for his 'bonus'. He goes out, tells his mate "go in get your bonus, she'll show you a bloody good time, one hell of a bonus!" He goes in, she shows him upstairs and true to her word he gets a real good bonus.When their finished she says "go and get your driver and send him in for his bonus", off he goes and says to the driver- "driver its your turn now, go on my son its one hell of a christmas bonus" so of he goes. He steps in the door very excited and instead of taking him upstairs she takes reaches for her purse and pulls out £5 and gives it to him. He says "what the hell is this, you give my two friends the time of their life and you give me this?!"She turns round and explains "I had strict instructions from my husband, he said 'give a fiver (£5) to the driver and F@@K the other two!!!'"


Very good Hari thank you
a little long for a cracker however

Wongy1101 m ago

Very good Hari thank youa little long for a cracker however


You said it was a Giant Christmas Cracker lol..

Original Poster

Andy@XCite3 m ago

Oh this is a competition thread (who knew?), I don't need the code as …Oh this is a competition thread (who knew?), I don't need the code as these threads are entertaining enough so disregard my entry.Plus I stole the joke from another website, just like this doozy ....Why do giraffes have long necks? Because their feet smell.


Thank Gandalf for the internet......

Felicitous57 m ago

When is a door not a door?when it's........ / .-.. .. -.- . / -... .. --. …When is a door not a door?when it's........ / .-.. .. -.- . / -... .. --. / -... ..- - - ... / .- -. -.. / .. / -.-. .- -. -. --- - / .-.. .. .A Jar!



does like the morse

Original Poster

haritori3 m ago

You said it was a Giant Christmas Cracker lol..


That was me copy'en paste MSK
I did do an edit and first time round made sense(ish)

arcangel11111 m ago

does like the morse


I am glad someone appreciates it
was originally several elipsis...

Felicitous3 m ago

I am glad someone appreciates it was originally several elipsis...



-- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . / .. ... / ..-. --- .-. / .-- .. -. -. . .-. ...

What does a train set and your wife’s boobs have in common?

They’re both made for kids but dad’s can’t help playing with them.

arcangel1115 m ago

-- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . / .. ... / ..-. --- .-. / .-- .. -. -. . …-- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . / .. ... / ..-. --- .-. / .-- .. -. -. . .-. ...


lol

Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.

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How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?

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