@ work, how do YOU deal with morons?

How do you keep you calm? What do you do when they say thing that are completely wrong in front of externals???

Going thru this on a daily basis & its doing my head in

H E L P !

17 Comments

I just walk away.

Banned

Spit in their coffee....


Puts a smile on your face all day

i just give them a blank look

Original Poster

ODB_69;2477502

Spit in their coffee....Puts a smile on your face all day



ODB

Do you have a day job?

If U have, I'm glad u aint reporting to me!!!

LURVELY POST!!!

Ta mate

If their lack of brain is going to affect your work just announce the correct solution to everyone present, or get a mate on your side and s****** together...........if its just annoying cr*p then learn to lip read and announce in mime to everyone.. "load of b*ll*cks" ..( I had the whole office doing it at one time)!!!!!

depends JUST how daring u are.....u cud try some of these

One point office dares...

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).

3) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".

7) Leave your zip open for one hour. If anyone
points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this
way".

Walk sideways to the photocopier.

9) While riding in a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

10) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Three point office dares...

1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot
him with double-barrelled fingers.

2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".

3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink
directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

6) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it
"IN."

7) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Don't use any punctuation

9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Five point office dares...

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".

5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad
Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one hour.

6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.

7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your
forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"

At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".

9) In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".

11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell
him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig etc) during a very important conference call.

15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from
the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist.

18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent
each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

Banned

WantOne;2477529

ODB Do you have a day job?If U have, I'm glad u aint reporting to … ODB Do you have a day job?If U have, I'm glad u aint reporting to me!!!LURVELY POST!!!Ta mate




LOL...

THATS NOTHING


You should see the stuff I have working in pubs....thats when I was a good boy

I just tell em I am a good catholic boy and would never change to their religion...opps ya means Morons..thought ya meant mormons

GerryG;2477578

I just tell em I am a good catholic boy and would never change to their … I just tell em I am a good catholic boy and would never change to their religion...opps ya means Morons..thought ya meant mormons



gerry that was poor

Original Poster

Cheers ACE!

See no. 7? That is ME THAT IS!!!!

C U soon!!!

Cud see me doin the rest with me balaclava IRISH accent et al etc

PMSL!!


Ta,

W1









Sowwy lol

Original Poster

GerryG;2477578

I just tell em I am a good catholic boy and would never change to their … I just tell em I am a good catholic boy and would never change to their religion...opps ya means Morons..thought ya meant mormons



You sound like a CB man to me!!!!

The bro's?

Original Poster

GerryG;2477640








Sowwy lol


Do not believe a word of it!!!!

Original Poster

Mclovin;247749/6

I just walk away.


Lucky u!

If its ur boss whaddya do?

Asking only!!!

Banned

Wantone...clear your inbox x

Get one of these
]Button

ohhh i cant get the link to work 'cos it has a naughty word in it lol
its in play.coms top selling gadgets...ill let you work out what it is

hint...its a big red button!!!
Number 6 on the list hahaa

bellabonkers;2477895

Get one of these]Button!


:lol:
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