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    YOU'LL LOVE THIS - a belter

    A 54 year old woman had
    a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

    While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she
    asked "Is my time up?"

    God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to
    live."

    Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
    face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had
    someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she
    had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of
    it.



    After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing
    the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

    Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had
    another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the
    ambulance?"



    (You'll love this)









    God replied: "I didn't bloody recognise you."

    7 Comments

    starsparkle2311;4569543

    why did the chicken cross the road?To get to the other side, … why did the chicken cross the road?To get to the other side, bwahahahahahahaBy comparison mine is so much funnier



    I beg to differ!

    lol that was funny Skusey! Thanks

    bargainhunter2009;4569673

    lol that was funny!



    thanx

    So Why did the Chicken cross the road?

    DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die alone. In the rain.

    MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

    GRANDPA JERRY In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

    ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

    KARL MARX It was a historical inevitability.

    SADDAM HUSSEIN This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

    RONALD REAGAN What chicken?

    CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

    FOX MULDER You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

    FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossing the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    BILL GATES I have just released eChicken 99, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

    EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

    BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

    GEORGE W.BUSH I don't think I should have to answer that question.

    LOUIS FARRAKHAN The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

    THE BIBLE And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road" And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

    COLONEL SANDERS I missed one?

    starsparkle2311;4569679

    thanx



    No I meant the joke by Skusey!

    Original Poster

    bargainhunter2009;4569735

    No I meant the joke by Skusey!



    dont worry, wrong time of month

    yeah well funny, the others are good too. Thanks
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