Bidet Toilet Seat Attachment £25.63 @ AliExpress Samodra Store

I thought about one of these when I was seeking a solution to reduce of wipes/toilet paper etc. Ended up with a portable bidet bottle - thought it would be no use, but at £8 it was worth a try. I am amazed how effective it is. Quick and easy to use (just fill with warm water) and very very effective. Wipes have now been removed and toilet roll use has reduced enormously. You feel (and are) so much cleaner to boot. It's a must try.

These are —as directed by sellers— directly plumbed into your water supply. That's not a good idea. People get sick from poor bidet installations and the UK water regulations reflect this.

To stay within the regs, you need fluid category 5 rated backflow protection. Basically a separate cistern. And that nukes your pressure. Pumped cisterns are super expensive. Specialised unvented heaters are even more. It's basically impossible to install one of these to regs without spending £400.

Wonder how many people are though.

Is this compatible with Nintendo Switch?

How do the nozzles self clean ? What's the guarantee that the nozzles wont get contaminated with faeces ?
Otherwise you women be gifted with a lovely UTI.

You can pretend you're on the Starship Enterprise while you wipe the Klingons from Uranus.

best thing you can use is a jug

It is all BS from those who have never used a Bidet. No it won't get contaminated itself or the water as it doesn't go under the bum but throws a stream of water from a distance. Wiping using paper or wet wipe is just wiping and not cleaning. Someone who has used Bidet or cleaning with water will know how clean and hygienic it is compared with wiping with a toilet paper or wet wipe.

i'm guessing this isn't really suitable for floating toilets as you can't really access the areas you would need to connect the pipes...

that and also i'm guessing most folks here in the uk dont have a tap/water output near a toilet , right?

Always wondered... Do people use this then dry off on a towel? Confident it's clean enough without soap?... Always suspicious of a towel in a bidet bathroom

Will it shift oily ground in dirt, only genuine users please? .

This just seems like you're asking for trouble - leaks and absolute filth to clean. I'd rather just have a shower.

I'd be going for a trigger type hose plumbed in.
Spent many years with a "bum washer" while living and working in Asia.
I think I went over full time to the bum washer around 2014 after working in KSA.
That said, I do have a bidet in the house.
Had to laugh at all the Muppets losing their minds over toilet roll three years ago! (edited)

I bought a close variation on this a couple of months ago and it's been great. After a trip to Asia where they were standard everywhere, either this style or one on a hose by the toilet, we thought we'd give it a go.
It was easy to plumb in and fitted pretty well into the current toilet set up. It is, however, technically illegal according to UK plumbing regs, as in theory a blocked bowl could fill with dirty water and in very rare cases of negative pressure in the whole of the house water system, contaminate the clean water supply. So most plumbers will NOT fit this for you as is.
We have ours just connected to the cold supply because you only use it for a few seconds and that's water that's been in the pipe in the house and isn't freezing.
If you know you like using a bidet spray already, and you're not too bothered about it looking amazing, this is a cheap and effective way to add one to a standard toilet.

South Park have already done it. (edited)

Could do with a few of these for the scruffy sods at work who do their business then just pull their pants up and walk off

We bought one of these 18 month ago, but unfortunately there is a physical remote control (and app for Android/ Apply ecosystems).
The issue we had is that, even though you can throw the remote away, if someone has the app on their phone, they can activate the spray/ sprinkle from anywhere (eg from work, Australia). Many a times, I'd barely sat down and my brother would activate from downstairs... this is funny for the first 2 or 3 times, but damn annoying thereafter!!

Do you own one of these, or just posted the deal?

Genuine question, what happens when you've had a kebab the night before and 'blast'? Is it easy to clean? (edited)

Does it have a two player mode?

And don't forget the few hundred quid on top of this price to have it installed with a warm water supply. (edited)

I just use a bottle with a hole in the lid to provide some power. Could just use a sports cap too.

How much RAM does this support?

Might try one of these as a more permanent replacement for my battery one.

One I use is a portable battery/usb version which has been great, easy to fill and better than a squeezy bottle. Battery seems to last for ages.
aliexpress.com/ite…tml

Great for when the next pandemic hits and the loo roll fly's off the shelves. Just need an upside down hair dryer to dry your bum