Posted 16 October 2023
Best way to deal with a difficult neighbour?
Next door thinks he is the don of the street - he has lived here for nearly 2 decades and believes he rules the roost around these parts of town.
I'll rattle off his workings over the last 2 or so years:
- has parties inside, and outside way past midnight, sometimes till 5am (does not care when I raised the issue, the man is pushing 50)
- uses pressure washer to clean the pathway/pavement and sprays all the muck AT MY CAR, rather than the other way. Tells me to "f*ck off" when I say, "are you going to clean my car now?"
- threatened me if I sprayed it back in his direction - "you will see what happens if you do it"
- said I couldn't have a Driveway because:
.I needed planning permission (I checked, I didn't for my size)
.the angle of the driveway was breaching privacy law
.he didn't want to look out the window and see my car
.said I owned enough cars (I own 4, and 2 are in the garage)
.it would devalue his house if I parked a van there
.illegal as the wildlife will be disrupted in the bush (to the pavement)
.he would get his solicitor legal friend to stop me - "he" never showed up
.kept coming out and telling the driveway specialists that I needed plan perm while I was getting quotes
.said for me to get a bush put up in the middle of the two houses so that he didn't have to see my cars
.to put it in writing, in the deeds (or something) that the bush doesn't get cut down
- agreed to have the bush directly in the middle of the property, but he wanted to dictate how high my other bush to the pavement was, because this new one needed sunlight
- uses pressure washer to water the middle bush with my car parked the other side of it, so its filthy
- cuts his lawn, and sprays it all onto my driveway with a pressure washer (says its my leaves that are in his garden, despite him owning a tree). Speaks to me, and my girlfriend like sh*t when we call him out
- tells me I need to trim the bush (to the pavement) down, tells me I don't clean my windows, tells me I do nothing to my house
- moans because my dog barks in the garden
- storms round your house if you park 1 inch onto his section of the road (two cars can fit on the road, 1 is mine, 1 is his)
- has his friends park their cars in that spot if we take that car out...
- moves my bins in my front garden while I am out
- friendly to me when he needs something.. strange that
I have been trying to move house for 6 months (had a few hiccups with chains falling through, etc) so I am actively trying my best to exit the situation I am in!
But...
I need to find other ways of dealing with him! Ignorance is NOT the answer because he will continue.
Nothing I say, or do, seems to make a difference. I do not respect him. I do not acknowledge him if he is outside. I am not afraid of him. He reminds me of a primary/secondary school bully. I refuse to let someone walk all over me like this.
I'll rattle off his workings over the last 2 or so years:
- has parties inside, and outside way past midnight, sometimes till 5am (does not care when I raised the issue, the man is pushing 50)
- uses pressure washer to clean the pathway/pavement and sprays all the muck AT MY CAR, rather than the other way. Tells me to "f*ck off" when I say, "are you going to clean my car now?"
- threatened me if I sprayed it back in his direction - "you will see what happens if you do it"
- said I couldn't have a Driveway because:
.I needed planning permission (I checked, I didn't for my size)
.the angle of the driveway was breaching privacy law
.he didn't want to look out the window and see my car
.said I owned enough cars (I own 4, and 2 are in the garage)
.it would devalue his house if I parked a van there
.illegal as the wildlife will be disrupted in the bush (to the pavement)
.he would get his solicitor legal friend to stop me - "he" never showed up
.kept coming out and telling the driveway specialists that I needed plan perm while I was getting quotes
.said for me to get a bush put up in the middle of the two houses so that he didn't have to see my cars
.to put it in writing, in the deeds (or something) that the bush doesn't get cut down
- agreed to have the bush directly in the middle of the property, but he wanted to dictate how high my other bush to the pavement was, because this new one needed sunlight
- uses pressure washer to water the middle bush with my car parked the other side of it, so its filthy
- cuts his lawn, and sprays it all onto my driveway with a pressure washer (says its my leaves that are in his garden, despite him owning a tree). Speaks to me, and my girlfriend like sh*t when we call him out
- tells me I need to trim the bush (to the pavement) down, tells me I don't clean my windows, tells me I do nothing to my house
- moans because my dog barks in the garden
- storms round your house if you park 1 inch onto his section of the road (two cars can fit on the road, 1 is mine, 1 is his)
- has his friends park their cars in that spot if we take that car out...
- moves my bins in my front garden while I am out
- friendly to me when he needs something.. strange that
I have been trying to move house for 6 months (had a few hiccups with chains falling through, etc) so I am actively trying my best to exit the situation I am in!
But...
I need to find other ways of dealing with him! Ignorance is NOT the answer because he will continue.
Nothing I say, or do, seems to make a difference. I do not respect him. I do not acknowledge him if he is outside. I am not afraid of him. He reminds me of a primary/secondary school bully. I refuse to let someone walk all over me like this.
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60 Comments
sorted byGot two cameras up already, but I know if it's done something anyway so I don't need to catch him in the act.
Only if if he ever damages my property will I escalate things, but so far it's just him armed with his precious pressure washer.
As I see it you really don't want to poke the bear anymore if you are trying to move house, and definitely don't report anything as you'll have to declare it to the buyers
In your situation, I pity the poor soul that buys your house, but karma is a b1tch so hopefully he meets someone just as obnoxious!
Past owners were here for 3 Years and ploughed 20k into an extension which makes me think they were enjoying it somewhat?
I knew from week one I didn't want to be here very long, and that was almost exactly 2 years to the day. (edited)
If I have an outlet, I feel better - like today, albeit he threatened me, but I felt better confronting him about the car, rather than just watch it unfold.
I would put some extra cameras up , they don't cost that much these days . You would have more evidence if things get even worse then you can build a case against him that way .
Also can put voice recorder evidence etc and then eventually you will have to report it if you want some change.
Anything you physically want do about it will end in you getting in more trouble than them so stay out of that level of aggression if it comes to it.
You definitely need to build multiple versions of evidence before you do anything, make sure you know your rights and you stick up for what is right
so difficult to advise on this as it is very personal and it can escalate things. i always try to calm things down for the reason that i don't want my house devalued and if it was a neighbour a bit further down the road, then i would certainly have a fight, but next door, no, not a good idea.
if you want some comfort, you could bite your tongue until you have been able to move and then come back and have it out with him (edited)
In any case this would be an official dispute such as a boundary issue. Not an argument in the street (lol). Pretty sure there is no law for disclosing an idiot neighbour.
Best disclose everything, honestly, and sleep easy once you have moved. (edited)
I could claim that next door are making my life hell and they mentioned previous owner. What does that gain me? Nothing. As there is nothing logged officially with anyone. It's all hearsay at that point and hearsay doesn't stand up in legal proceedings.
I spent 2yrs ignoring him after being pretty much best of friends for 6yrs. I then moved as all it does is make you anxious and nervous to do anything.
Best thing to do is to flat out blank him. Do you and ignore him if he tries to call you out on it.
This is one of many prime examples of his pettiness. At least a 7 car drive (he turned front garden into a driveway) but chose to park inches from a car I was trying to clean. He did it because he knew I was cleaning it and standing right there where I took photo because he wanted a reaction. He didn't get one but I sent photo to other neighbours who also knew of his childish behaviour to reinforce his behaviour to them to further alienate him from the neighbours.
My friends keep telling me the same thing about my tosspot, that he's bored and doing it for a reaction just like your old one.
Nice Jag though!