Would it be churlish to take my battered 2005 for a free wash n vac?
Depending on how busy they are, an hour or two tops
My local dealer had no idea about it either but they looked it up on the Volvo website, saw the offer, and honoured it. Any dealer that comes up on the Volvo website dealer search facility should offer it, and can probably be talked into it if you’re there asking in person rather than over the phone.
Purely depends on the branch, of the are nice people and not that busy a diagnostic is very quick, 1 hour tops
Exactly I just called the nearest dealer and they have no idea about this and of course wouldn't do it.